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Problems with a friend who has disabilities...

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Dryad, Mar 31, 2014.

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  1. Dryad

    Dryad
    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Messages:
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    Location:
    Europe
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    We met in a university class like six months ago and we've been hanging out since then. We are very good friends, he knows almost everything about me and we get along well.
    There is only one problem: Because of his disabilities (cerebral palsy, orientation problems, severe dyslexia ect) he has no self esteem and he grumbles all the time. Last night we went dancing and had a great time, but afterwards he said that I'd better have danced with a better dancer. He can't enjoy anything because he always compare himself to other people and always thinks he's worthless. He always says how he is a burden to others, how I'm doing him a favor for being his friend... Especially the last one, almost offends me, because I wouldn't act like a friend to anybody because of pity or something. I've had mobility problems in the past and I hate people who pity others because of this kind of issues. How can I convince him that he can make a difference and take life in his hands? He's a very smart and interesting person, but he has started to get on my nerves seriously. :dry:
     
    #1 Dryad, Mar 31, 2014
  2. DeLuna

    DeLuna Guest

    Write him a heartfelt letter explaining what you just said here
     
    #2 DeLuna, Mar 31, 2014
  3. Vince

    Vince
    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Louisiana
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Look I have disabilities (asperger's, dyslexia, motor impairment, sensory processing disorder, about 50 known food/chemical sensitivities(they mostly cause GERD), and IBS) I constantly get depressed and think I'm worthless.

    My girlfriend is my bet support even when she's away at college. She always tries to reassure me I'm useful(be specific, for instance she always compliments my art, looks, cooking, and personality.) no matter how I mess up or get sick. It can help a lot from a friend as well. Compliment his dancing... etc. my girlfriend has pcos and worries about her appearance so I constantly tell her she's pretty, cute, and beautiful... Surely enough with time I've noticed her feel better about herself. My heart skipped a beat when she said she wanted to wear a skirt.

    Lately be patient with him. He is hurting more than most people can really understand. Disability is so frustrating in our demanding and perfectionist society. Disabled people are constantly bullied by other and themselves.
     
    #3 Vince, Mar 31, 2014
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