One of my really close guy friends knows that I am gay yet keeps insisting that I date him and that it would work because we're already close and very similar. I told him that it wasn't a fair thing of him to ask of me and he replied "It's not fair that I'm killing myself by just staying friends with you." I should probably add that both of us have serious depression issues and that he tells me all the time that I'm the only reason he's still alive. I gave him an ultimatum that he has to either stop pressuring me to date him or I will end the friendship. But I still care about him and I don't want him to kill himself because of me or feel that he has no one. It's just that our relationship is unhealthy and I don't know how to fix it. And no, he can't see a consellour about it.
I am pretty sure this is what they call a "catch 22." If your heart denies his request, don't date him. Then again, I am only 14 and my insight you might as well ignore.
Kat 5 don't put yourself down because of your age I'm sure you have many insightful things to say. And yes, I agree about not dating him…I'm just confused about the rest.
I totally understand having issues... I have plenty of them myself... but what this guy is doing to you is *incredibly* selfish. This person is not being any sort of friend to you. You've clearly stated that you aren't interested in dating, yet he pushes. I don't know if you have to see this person for any reason, but I would be inclined to tell them that you have enough to deal with in your life without the added pressure that he is placing on you. Yeah, thats a blow to him but he seems to not be considering your feelings whatsoever. Obviously, not knowing either of you temper any of this to your situation/personalities, but theres no reason to comply with what he wants and also no reason to allow yourself to be subjected to the pressure.
I agree he's being very selfish, all he cares about is his happiness and not yours. He shouldn't base his happiness on someone, he seems so dependant on you and that is unhealthy. There is really nothing you can do, dating him won't make you happy so somehow you have to let him know that it is never going to happen, that it's not even a possibility. I don't think you should end the friendship long term though, I think he really needs somebody to be there for him and if it was me and something happened to him I would feel really guilty. It sucks that your in this situation, but maybe you can help him meet other people, or introduce him to your friends?
Stick with your ultimatum. This guy sounds really desperate if he doesn't understand your sexuality means you will never be able to reciprocate his attraction. You should not let him use the treat of suicide as blackmail. You shouldn't have to apologize for being lesbian. Honestly, I think it would be best to cut off all ties now but say that you want him to find help. Don't feel you have to always keep holding his hand; he has already shown he is manipulative.
I concur with Resu 100%. Pressuring *anybody* to date or have a relationship is bad enough, but he knows you're gay and is still doing it. That is called manipulation, harassment and just plain disrespect for you AS A PERSON. It is probably in your best interest to cut the tie with him altogether. He isn't a good friend.
He apologized last night and now everything is "okay" but I'm stuck wondering how ok things really are.
