Being only child, same sex attraction, and wanting kids

Ok, are any of you the only child and bisexual/gay or know someone who is bi/gay and only child? Its an awful feeling.

Do any of you feel out of the loop, deprived, guilty, or bad in some sense about not having biological kids yet, if u don't have any?

The reason why I'm asking is cuz I attended a lot of family events over holiday and I noticed that my cousins around my age on my dad side mostly have kids except one who is very big and the other two are in jail. I just feel so deprived and guilty that me being the only child and dealing with same sex attraction. Also I am a black male and most black families are very homophobic and anti-gay. It also doesn't help that my family on my dads side doesn't like my mom, keeps him in the "backseat" for family business, and my moms side doesn't like my mom. I was very quiet growing up and sheltered and over protected by my mom and I feel my family suspects me of being gay because how they treat me.

One gay dude I talk my issues with told me he feels my pain so much and glad he not in my shoes. He has a sister and she has four kids and he has two godkids so he said he has no interest in having kids. He told me to have a child even if I don't find a girl to marry because there is way too much responsibility and pressure on me being the only child. He told me to either knock up the girl I'm dating or find some gold digging chick to impregnate. He also said finding a naive girl would be ideal. He also said to find a girl with low self esteem, or one who is overweight, sheltered, dumb, slow or dumbfounded., He said a "suburban acting" black girl could work too. He said a regular urban black girl who is up on things wouldn't work cuz she would be able to tell if a dude is bi or gay. Also there are tons of black girls single cuz of lack of dateable black men.

I know some of you will express your disapproval of my post and not realize how bad the shoes I fill but imagine feeling out of the loop when all my cousins bragging about their kids. All their Facebook pics and bday parties and seeing the additions to the family. My dads family always treated my aunts kids better than me so I always felt like the black sheep. Plus my family dislike gay people and even treated my cousin who was a lesbian badly where she had a nervous breakdown and she even has two sons. She was married young for a short period then she lived the gay lifestyle for 20+ years afterwards.

I also want to have kids for myself so I can get the joys of being a parent. I just feel so deprived of this joy that my cousins have and CONSTANTLY post on facebook.

If you can relate to me....please post some advice.