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Came out to my crush...really wish I hadn't

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Belkeseri18, Apr 4, 2014.

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  1. Belkeseri18

    Belkeseri18
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    So about 2 weeks ago, I came out of the closet to my best friend, whom I have a major crush on. Before I had come out to him, I had stopped talking to him for a while because I hadn't accepted my sexual orientation for myself, and the thought of having an attraction toward my best friend really freaked me out. Anyway, When I came out to him, he ask me if the reason I had stopped talking to him was because I "liked" him. Not wanting to lie to him, I told him yes, that I did feel attracted to him, and had feelings for him. At the time he seemed ok with it, but since then he barely talks to me, and won't even look me in the eye we we are around each other. Will he eventually come around? I hate not being able to hang out with him, but I don't want to force him into a friendship. Any advice anyone?
     
    #1 Belkeseri18, Apr 4, 2014
  2. mbanema

    mbanema
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    Just give him some time; it's a lot to take in that your friend has kept such a big secret from you over the years AND that he's attracted to you. He didn't react with hostility and must be at least somewhat accepting for asking you that question so I think there's a good chance he'll come around and resume being your friend.

    In the end I think you'll look back on this as a positive decision. :slight_smile:
     
    #2 mbanema, Apr 4, 2014
  3. thrnvlpidj

    thrnvlpidj
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    Maybe when you find a boyfriend he'll come around/
     
    #3 thrnvlpidj, Apr 4, 2014
  4. Belkeseri18

    Belkeseri18
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    He's not attracted to me, I'm attracted to him. This is complicated by the fact that he is straight and has a girlfriend of one year.
     
    #4 Belkeseri18, Apr 4, 2014
  5. WhiteShadows

    WhiteShadows
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    Belkeseri, mbanema was just phrasing it in the perspective of your friend.

    I think it's good he didn't react with any hostility. I can understand him feeling uncomfortable... I mean... knowing a guy likes you can creep straight guys out...
    I think once he sees that you're moving on and aren't going to start hitting on him, he should come around. Just continue talking to him and being his friend as if nothing happened.
     
    #5 WhiteShadows, Apr 4, 2014
  6. Axxel

    Axxel Guest

    It could also be that he's keeping his distance because he thinks talking to someone who has expressed an interest in him is inappropriate when he's in a committed relationship.
     
    #6 Axxel, Apr 4, 2014
  7. thrnvlpidj

    thrnvlpidj
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    THe complication here is your attraction to him. If you can move past that you may regain his friendship.
     
    #7 thrnvlpidj, Apr 4, 2014
  8. Radioactive Bi

    Radioactive Bi
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    Perhaps you need to take the bull by the horns and approach him for a conversation. You could tell him that you understand he won't feel how you feel, but you still want to be friends with him and it's not like your going to try and interfere with his current relationship.

    Crushes can come and go, and you may not always have a crush on him. Hopefully you can resolve this given enough time. I agree with what was said above about it may be easier when you have a boy friend, however, you can never know how long that'll be.

    Hope thing work out for you,

    Happy days :slight_smile:
     
    #8 Radioactive Bi, Apr 5, 2014
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