Was it only friendship?

I just need help understanding some things and maybe that would bring closure.
I am a bicurious/bisexual 28 year old male.
I got a promotion about 7 months ago and when I did I ended up working with this good looking guy, so he became my subordinate. He was very reserved as I am but like me likes to play around. To try to cut the story short everything started when one day he told me in Spanish “vos me chiveas.” That I found that meant that I embarrassed him, in a blushing type of way. It made me think why. But I made nothing of it. He was going through some things with his ex-girlfriend(and baby’s mother) at the time so we would go out sometimes and have a drink and we would talk about that and I would tell him that he should fight for them and should do some changes so that he could get her back. Everything was good. It was good until December when he started hanging out with my friends and we would see each other a lot more.
Well, it all began when we would lay down to watch a movie together at a friend’s house since that was the spot for everybody to hang out at. I put my leg over his and he didn’t mind. He even seemed to hug my leg with his, but I took it as him playing around. Things began escalating and sometimes when we were too drunk instead of going home we would just stay there. We would usually sleep next to each other, mainly because he would joke around and say “I want to sleep next to xxxx” Well I would put my leg over his and he wouldn’t mind.
Suddenly he began sending me messages like "good morning." Sometimes they said "good morning sir" to sound more straight. He would send me messages like what he was doing randomly throughout the day and ask me what I was doing. We would talk although I would feel uncomfortable as it is difficult for me to start personal relationships with people. One day he sent me a picture of a very hot girl and I told him that I had gotten a bonner just from looking at her and he said "oh yeah, take a picture." I just laughed and started talking about something else. Then on another day we were talking about some things and suddenly the conversation went into me telling him that I would send him a picture of me in the morning. Then I told him that I would not do it as he would be left like "WTF"(referencing that I would send him a picture of my penis). He just responded "we will have to see in the morning." I of course didn't have the balls to send him a picture.
One time we were laying next to each other but I was a little up more and his elbow was right by my hip. He was using his phone and he put his elbow on my hip and his elbow ended up hitting the tip of my penis. I didn’t move and he didn’t say anything. He kept it there for a moment until he moved his arm and ended up putting his hand towards my armpit putting his arm over my chest. I still didn’t move. Then he put his hand back on my hip in the same position. When we were leaving, he actually tapped my penis about a good 5 times with his elbow. I took advantage of that and threw my leg over his chest putting my penis on his side. He didn’t say anything about that.
On another occasion we were so drunk and we fell asleep. I decided to go for it a little more and I ended up putting my hand on his butt and somehow I ended up putting my hand inside his pants over his underwear. He was asleep, or so I think, but I am not sure as on other occasions he pretended to be asleep. Anyways, I ended up putting my hand inside his underwear and kept it there for a moment until he said “WTF foo, don’t be gay.” So I took my hand out. Later on I ended up with my hand inside his pants by his boxers but not touching his privates. He again said “don’t be gay foo.” As soon as he woke up he made a comment that I was trying to put his pants down, but at no time did he tell anybody that I had put my hand in his pants or in his underwear. All our friends laughed but didn’t think anything of it.
Although from that time on they started teasing us everytime they saw us together saying things like “oh oh, xxxx and yyyy are getting close already,” and bust out laughing. We had a few incidents like that. But there were two other times that really threw me off. They were the last few times me and him hung out in that way.
We had an accident together and we were in much pain. Together we were going to the doctor’s office and doing everything. Well, I was in so much pain and it was hot that I took off my shirt while I was waiting for my friend and taking a nap. I ended up waking up because he started playing with the hairs on my stomach and putting his finger in my belly button. I think that that is way beyond playing around. He was using the phone to talk to his ex-girlfriend and suddenly I felt him put his elbow on my chest. Not only on my chest but it felt like he moved it as well in order to place it in the way he wanted. Later on, once I woke up, I moved up further up on the bed on purpose and his elbow ended up by my crotch again. He placed his elbow again by my penis but didn’t feel anything and I felt him adjust his elbow until he ended up touching the tip of my penis with his elbow. I stayed there until some other people showed up and I didn’t want them to see that. Later on he was laying down and I put my legs completely across his stomach but then moved them closer to his crotch area and he started “falling asleep.” Then I placed them on his legs and moved my feet up towards his crotch but never touched his private areas with them.
Then there was one more time when we hung out, where my other friend was going to have sex with his girlfriend so I kicked everybody out of the bed. Three of us went to the couch and I made sure me and him were laying next to each other. He obviously knew I did it on purpose as well. I turned to my side and my penis was touching his knee and he ended up raising his leg. So I put my leg under his. He didn’t mind it. Later on, somehow my foot ended up by his crotch on top of his penis and when he moved, I just moved my foot a little. All he did was throw his leg over mine so that my leg was in between his. His leg ended up touching my penis and he didn’t move. I even moved a little closer and he knew I did it so that my penis would be touching his leg more. I was semi hard. Later on, my alarm went off and while I was looking for my phone without moving his legs I noticed that his eyes kind of opened which let me know he was aware of everything that was going on. I ended up moving to a position where I had my legs wide open. I ended up throwing his leg in between mine and he didn’t mind. He kept his leg there right on top of my penis. When he woke up he grabbed his phone and moved but didn’t say anything. Later on in the day I ended up laying behind him and placed my penis right on his shoulder. He knew it was my penis as I am not small and he could feel me even if I am not hard. He even moved his hand over his shoulder as if to see what was going on and he felt my penis but he didn’t move and didn’t say anything.
Well we keep it like that and never talk about it. NEVER. Although I have caught him staring at my crotch many times.
I missed a lot as well but I am trying to cut it short. Or the fact that when he walked behind me he would push up on me and didn't mind if I did that when I was walking behind him. Many other things
I got over the fact that he got back with his girlfriend and that is why he doesn't talk to me unless it is around other people. If he only saw me as a friend |I don't think that it would matter that he returned with his girlfriend. But I think he saw it as a bit more and that is why them getting back together affected our "friendship." What do you guys think.

 

I really need some help understanding this behavior. Im more like socially retarted and in order for me to get some closure I would like to understand the situation.

 

Thanks. Any insight, ideas, comments?

 

Yeah I agree. A very big lack of communication was the problem. Im just going to forget about it and move on now.

 

So...I go back to work on Monday and feel pretty anxious. I dont want to act distant as it could be taken as im hurt and bitter. Also dont want to act too friendly or he might think I'm trying to rekindle something. How should I behave so that neither of these are perceived.

 

haha "act." Yeah, well, I did do that. I did not at all act cold at the time after I returned to work. I actually acted very cool but for some reason he continued acting very cold. Even to the point that one day I put my hand out and he didn't shake it. So, I'm his boss and during a coaching one day I just told him that I knew why he was acting like that and he wanted to do his own thing and that it was okay, but to at least keep it professional. I asked him how he would feel if I left him hanging and didn't shake his hand and he said he would just mind his own business. So I continued being professional, and only talked to him when I had to for work, never once did I act cold with him as he did.
But now he's trying to act friendly with me again. Today I was really stressed and he even continued asking me what was wrong with me and I would just say "nothing major." Finally he said he was really worried and wanted to know what was wrong so I told him "you said you mind your own business, and I think this is the time for you to do that." I know it was pretty hard but I had decided to scratch him off my friend's list and just keep it work related. Now that he's trying to act like a friend again it just fucked me up.

 

I agree with everything you just said.
Now, it became even more confusing today as I have been trying to keep the friendship on a short leash, meaning I don't want to talk to him only during a joke around the office or when I need to.
But today we were having a chat conversation playing around about how stupid he is and how stupid I am and I told him "You're whack as hell, did you know htat?" and he responded no. So I told him " If you don't know, now you know" He said "But you still love me like that" I replied "not really" and he said "yeah you do, but you think you're tough and shit but its okay *****(and called me by my name)". Then I switched the conversation and started talking about something totally random until we stopped talking.
That's where I became confused. First of all, when he said that I love him like that I could have replied yes and kept it as a joke. But I didn't. However, he could have replied with a joke as well, but he didn't. He said that. What do you guys think that meant and why would he say that if he isn't interested?
I welcome all feedback please.

 

Thank you

---------- Post added 5th Jun 2014 at 08:36 AM ----------

Thank you. So yeah its hard because right now we are in a training together and I have to onteract with him on a daily basis. After this week though the training is over and I will be able to move one.
Later on he told me he was getting a haircut and I asked him to send me a picture so I could see it. As soon as he got home he did and asked if he looked sexy. I played around and said yes. And he said thanks and that helped him as he had low self esteem. We didnt talk about that but some hing happened during the day and I vented out to him. He responded and when I woke up I had a fee messages from him with music and stuff and he said that helped him when he had to think and stuff. So he went into his caring mode. But youre right. Im letting it go. After training which ends this week I wont even talk to him unless its needed due to work.

 

So just Little update on this situation. We distanced ourselves a lot mainly because when he returned with his girlfriend as I mentioned he stopped talking to me for a moment. That was what led me to believe that he had feelings or something for me and that was the reason why now that he was with his girlfriend he saw me as a "threat" to his relationship in a way. Then of course me a bit hurt distanced myself as well, and so forth. One day, he was kind of arguing with his girlfriend(I found out later) so he went out with me. We went to a friend's house to play video games and we were in our friend's room. Well my friend has a humongous bed, however, he chose to lay next to me, putting his butt first against my arm until I moved it. There was a time when he rested his head on me. I had to reach over to look at something and I pressed my body against him, and he didn't say anything. It had me crazy.
The other day I had not seen him for a few days so when I saw him I gave him I guy while shaking his hand, and he pulled me and pressed his body, mainly his lower body, against me. I told him to stop doing that.
But yesterday we were talking and I was telling him that I was going to go break up with this girl and somehow the conversation turned into other things and I called him out on it a few things.
First he mentioned something about a gay barber so I asked him if he went there so that the barber could push himself against him. I told him that he would put his crotch against him like the Zohan and that he would move his shoulder or elbow more so that he could tough his pee pee as he always does and he just laughed.
Then I told him something else and told him that I know he has gay tendencies so for him not to take everything I was saying so serious as I was just playing. Again, he jsut laughed instead of saying some rebuttal to that.

It drives me really crazy. Like last night I decided I would stop talking to him but then I wake up and he's the first person to send me a message. Every time I want to stop talking to him is when he returns and its hard for me to not write him back.

It really sucks.

 

So the situation had an unexpected twist.

I agree with everything you said. And when he got back with his girlfriend I decided to leave it alone. Can't deny I still had the urge. By the way, I live in another country and sexual jokes are what makes 80% of the humor in the office.

Well lately I noticed that he was coming around me a lot so I figured he was having problems with his girlfriend and then sure enough he told me they had broken up. So since he was not with his girlfriend he wanted to get distracted and we went out to the movies a couple of times last week with another friend. Both times he made sure that he sat next to me. But we behaved regular, like one of the boys.

Until yesterday. He wanted to hang out so we went to a wáter park with another friend. So we had a great day. Then another friend came into the picture and he wanted to hang out with some girls and so did we. So he stuck around with me all day. There was very Little if any flirting between us. And then when we had the girls that were going to show up, I got really jealous and he was sort of ignoring me.

Well, I got really mad and he saw it. I think everybody saw it. Well after a while I decided to let it go and I became the life of the party. I had control of the girls and they were all over me. Finallly he went with one of the girls and I stayed with the other.

Then this morning, I left the bed I was on with the girl and then he followed me wearing nothing but his underwear. He layed next to me. And Little by Little he actually had his head on my shoulder and he seemed very comfortable sleeping there and I put my arm under his head. Well, before you know it we were just comfortable laying next to each other. Then I ended up moving and going to another bed, and he again followed. This time because he had to since one of our friends was going to have sex with one of the girls there. So he followed and ended up next to me. This time, there were no restraints. I put my arm under his head and layed behind him pressing against him. He didn't mind. Then I decided to pretty much cuddle with him and I had my hand on his stomach playing with his belly button and then with his chest. At no time did he try to stop it. He allowed it to happen. Me putting my leg in his crotch while my arm under his head and then when he turned he didn't mind me pressing against him.

Finally after a while like that, we decided to get up and leave. We got in the car and didn't talk about it. It was like nothing happened or if it was something normal. I want to talk to him about it but don't know how to do it. When he got out of the car, he just said good luck tomorrow(as I am starting a new job) and he told me to let him know how it went. That let me know that he didn't really want to talk to me today.

I want to talk to him about it, any ideas how I should approach him about it?