I'm not happy with my boyfriend. I have a crush on my STRAIGHT best friend. I want a girlfriend. My parents are getting a divorce. I can't talk to my boyfriend, because he wouldn't understand. I can't talk to my great friend, because she sees things so differently. I can't talk to my best friend because I love her and I'm afraid I'd blurt it out. And I'm only 14 years old. My belief is that one doesn't deserve happiness unless is able or willing to do something for it. I get scolded for my negative attitude in life and I called my friend childish and fairytale-believing because she believes that good things happen in love.
Sometimes good things happen only if you believe in them. That's not childish that's called positive thinking This things suck! I know!! A few years ago i was nearly in the same situation. Had a crush on a close friend, parents were about to divorce and i couldn't talk to anyone. But I hadn't a boyfriend. Would it be better if you break up with your boyfriend?
Well, it maybe would, but I can't bring myself to hurt him like that. He sees nothing wrong in us, and he waited for me for 4 months. And I also can't bring myself to believe in good things. My psychologist said it'll take a while before I can believe in good things in life again, even if I'm trying my best.
If you don't feel that you can talk to your boyfriend, that's not a healthy relationship, and it sounds like you could use a healthy relationship right now to get through all this. When you say he wouldn't understand, do you mean he would be immature about it? Open, honest communication is the best way to strengthen a relationship, especially if the reason the relationship is suffering is because you feel like you can't talk to him. Maybe try talking to him about how you're feeling (about your parents, if not about your feelings for women), or just talking to him about new things. Don't worry, good things can come from going through rough times like this. =) Making it through these things is how people grow. If you need to talk, I'm happy to listen.
When I say he wouldn't understand, I mean it quite literally. He would keep questioning and asking what am I talking about, what do I mean. And I don't think it's up to me to hurt him, when I brought him down the second he told me he likes me. He waited for 4 months, and then I was able to say it back. I have talked to him about my parents and my silly fights with my friends, but never about us or my bisexuality. I just feel like I've been pretending happy for two months of our two-and-a-half-month-relationship.
