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Off to LA to see my father

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Alexander69, Apr 6, 2014.

  1. Alexander69

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    So I'm heading to LA today to see my dad I've been having terrible anxiety I feel like my heart is going to stop I don't know why my heart starts racing. I just need my dad I need my mom and my dad I just want them both together with me :frowning2: I miss it it kills me I thought that living alone would be great I was nervous but excited but its so much to handle and I'm not even paying for anything and its stressful :frowning2: every night I lay in bed and I can't sleep I just think about everything :frowning2: I didn't sleep at all yesterday so I hope seeing my dad will help me a bit we aren't very close... At all but I just need him I called and I was crying until my cheeks and face hurt I told him I need him..... I don't want to move to LA but I don't know how long I will be there ill have to coke back next week quickly because the renovations should be done by then.

    I went to visit my mom in west van last week and we had dinner together and I told her about my anxiety and she said to just "breath" and to "stay calm" I've been trying hello I don't want to feel like this. But she's to selfish to help me in depth that's why I'm going to see my dad I hope he listens I know he has anxiety so maybe he can help me deal with it. Plus there are better doctors and what not in the states then out in Canada in my opinion so hopefully I can see one there.

    I wish I had someone in my family that I could run to I feel so helpless I just want a close family god I wish I had that a family that cares and is there for you :frowning2: :icon_sad:

    But I don't have that and I never will. My grand mother and her boy you are going somewhere like costa rica or something in that area and she wants me to come see her when they arrive in a few weeks and I will go see her.

    Then in the summer I'm going to Germany and England for a month or 2 to see my cousins and what ever other relations I'm not food with the whole cousin second cousins and what not.

    But my whole next few moths are am just so stressful and busy. I know what you are thinking poor you traveling around..... But I just want to have my mom dad my brother and I at home all together laughing and talking I wish we were all close :frowning2:

    I just want a normal family a typical home and family is that to much to ask I would trade everything I own even the clothes on my body right now to be happy and to have a loving close family one that was accepting and loving a small family home with a mom that is home to cook dinner and a dad that is home to eat it and ask how my day was a mom to do dishes and a dad to talk to :icon_sad: I feel like I've missed out on the most important things in life.... Family bonding. I'm just crying thinking about this. Ugh


    I don't like crying its a sign of weakness my dad always said I never cry In front of him or anyone but I caved and cried to him today he must think I'm pathetic or that I really need him to be there for me.

    I just need my parents, my family and I miss my dogs :frowning2:
     
  2. resu

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    I'm still a little unsure how not having a stereotypically perfect family is causing you so much anxiety. Is it because you're not out to your family?

    However, you should not be afraid to cry. Crying is not a sign of weakness. It's a sign of stress from overwhelming emotions, and it is unhealthy to bottle up your emotions.

    You can't choose your parents or family, but you can choose your own happiness. Your happiness comes from within your own mind. You should definitely consider seeing a professional. Having a child doesn't mean every parent is well-equipped to deal with their children's needs and concerns.
     
  3. Alexander69

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    It's not because I'm not out its because I've basically watched my family crumble and I can't do anything to help it.
     
  4. pinklov3ly

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    I've read your threads before and I see that you're not close to your family. I can't imagine what you're going through because I've always been close to my family. I mean, even if you are wealthy, you are still human.

    In my opinion, more money equals more problems. I read this quote that said "If you're unhappy then money will just make you miserable in really nice places. But don't think for a second that just because you are well off that you should just brush any problems that you're having under the rug.

    Are you unable to schedule a doctors appointment yourself? When I was 18, I needed help with mental issues that I was having, so I made an appointment with my primary care physician who referred me to a mental health doctor. At the time, I was still covered by my father's insurance and I had all of the necessary information, so I didn't have any issues.

    So, perhaps it is a good idea to visit family. You need to really sit down with them and explain to them how you're feeling until then hang in there (*hug*)
     
    #4 pinklov3ly, Apr 8, 2014
    Last edited: Apr 8, 2014
  5. thrnvlpidj

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    Don't blame yourself for your family crumbling. If it was your fault you could fix it; you know you can't.

    Start looking for a surrogate family that cares and is there for you, that you can run to when you feel helpless.