Hello everyone I need help on something. I have this friend of mine who has tryed to go out with me seval times and each time I say yes I always end up hurting him and it makes me feel really bad. He asked me again about two weeks ago and I feel really bad becuase I feel like I'm going to hurt him again and I dont want to at all, what should I do? Should I go out with him again and try my very best not to hurt him or do I just say no I cant go out with you because I'm afried I'll hurt you again? Pwease help me. :tears:
Not to put too fine a point on it, but I'm pretty sure leading him on and going out with him when you don't want to would make things MORE painful when he eventually realises it's not going to work. Personally I wouldn't go out with him. Let him take the initial hit and get over it.
Yeah i guess I could have thought of that. I feel really really bad. ---------- Post added 7th Apr 2014 at 05:06 AM ---------- im a bad person arnt i?
No. A bad person would be someone who agrees to date him, never shows up. Then goes to him the next day, makes up some excuse and says "I'll DEFINITELY show up next time", then repeats that process. A bad person makes a mockery out of that person. You just didn't want to hurt his feelings and overlooked something. It's not GREAT but it doesn't make you a bad person.
Thank you. the worse thing is we dont even seen each other at all, I live in carthage IN and he lives an hour and thirty nine mintues away.:tears:
Is he someone you could just be friends with? Maybe spend time just being at this level with him. Why do you feel you need to say yes to him and not no?
Because if I say no ill hurt him badly and I dont want to hurt someone. and yeah I guess we could be friends.
Forgive me for how this is going to sound, but it needs saying and it needs phrasing like this... What makes you so perfect that if you turn him down now this guys life will basically be over? Since when are you SO amazing that he couldn't possibly get over you even if he tried? (Again, sorry for that, but it needs to be pointed out). Yes, you might hurt him, you might hurt him bad, but he will get over it. Thing is if you agree to go out with him over and over again 'to avoid hurting him' then he is going to be investing in a relationship that doesn't exist. Eventually this fake relationship is going to end, and which point he is going to feel AWFUL because he put lots into it, and you put NOTHING in. How is that fair? If you can't return his feelings, don't. Keep in mind that the ONLY thing you are doing in terms of keeping his feelings intact is considering saying you will go out with him. I don't imagine you are going to be fully playing your part of the loving boyfriend, because you don't see him that way. He's going to be trying to further your relationship and worrying about failing. You are free to look for someone else because you don't even see yourself as being IN a relationship. One way or the other this guy is getting hurt. Do it now and do it soon, because if you string it out and do it later, no matter how much it hurts you, you'll get no sympathy because you KNOW you did the wrong thing.
