The Way He Looks At Me..

Hello. I know I'm not consistent with posting, but I felt the full need to get this off my chest. (I'm sure most can relate.)

Right now, I see thousands of stars but cannot fathom the constellations: that is how confused I am. Alright, so by starting of the story, I will firstly name our protagonist "J". J and I have known each other for about a year and a half, and were friends last year (friends meaning actually being able to have an engaged conversation whilst having a friendship) This year, we may have very small chat but not very much. But, as seen in the title, it is the way he looks at me. There is just something about this that he seems to want to get by and tell me indirectly and through eye contact. I do in fact like him, and we do sometimes get touchy-feely (brushing of arms; legs, hugging) He seems like a whole new person to me this year.

My theory of his odd and new behavior started at the beginning of this year. We didn't talk much, and mainly because I had avoided him because I was scared to talk to him after a.) developing a new crush on him and b.) not seeing him in such a long time made me wonder about his opinion about me. I was rather hesitant when it came to talking to him at first, and I still am, but when we do talk, he looks at me like nobody else would. He tends to hug me and everything and I'm starting to get more comfortable with that, but as I continue to grow comfortable, I lose interest in him. I just want to know how to approach him and how to come out to him.

Please?

 

Resu -

I'm not entirely sure about his sexuality, but I do in fact know he has a girlfriend in which he is going to break up with. I talked to him about this, and he said he feels trapped in a relationship with his girlfriend because he liked her last year but that was out of puppy love, whereas this year he does not devote himself to the relationship very strongly. I think he is questioning/bi, due to the fact that whenever somebody makes a homophobic comment (which I have gotten used to) he sort of backs away from the circle, offended. Thanks a ton for responding on this thread!

IG88 -

That's what I edge myself towards thinking sometimes. Truth be told.

 

Trooper -

Thanks a ton for giving me some input. That story realy lifted me up! Thanks a ton though. I cannot thank you enough~

WhiteShadows -

We do in fact put our instruments away together (I forgot if I mentioned that already and I'm too lazy to check) but we don't talk. At all. The most we've ever said to each other is "It's a nice day out." Like, seriously?! I'm not socially confident with him.

One more thing I forgot to say in my opening post: there is a part in a band song where the trombones (which we both play) do not play anymore. At first, when we got the song, we would look at each other and mouth the beats to each other. ( 1, 2, 3... 24) But now, it's just a look. I even managed to hurt my jaw by hitting my mouthpiece after the stare. Sorry for saying this again, but it truly feels like he wants to tell me something. I plan to come out tomorrow because we have band tomorrow, so wish me luck?

Thanks guys.

A ton~

 

Only.. 6 more hours? This is a stupid post.

Thanks White~

 

Hey guys. If any of you see this, I'm in my fourth period class and locked myself in the bathroom. Only an hour.

Sorry, but this is sort of a big deal to me.

Quick responses?

Thanks Trooper and White. (and Resu and IG88)

 

UGH. THIS ISN'T FAIR.

On our way, he slowed down and I was walking in front of him. The whole time I wanted to turn around and say "J, I'm bisexual." But no.

The single thing he said today was "Do you have play practice?" and I replied "No." THAT was it. I'm locked in a bathroom yet again, posting my feelings.

When we were walking out, I had his name on the tip of my tongue, but I didn't say it. It looked like I was choking or something. I feel indignant... and annoyed.

I better head out.

I am on the verge of yelling and breaking down.

This is the SIXTH TIME this has happened.

 

White -

Thanks. I'm serious. The next time we have band is on.. Tuesday? That's six days from now. After thinking over the fact that he is just anither human, that really brought up my confidence. I can't thank you enough.

Trooper -

I have been trying to return hugs and whatnot, but it seems as
though my awkwardness gets the best of me sometimes.

I haven't said this yet, but he hasn't broken up with his girlfriend yet, and I am not entirely sure he is going to keep that recent promise of his.

 

Sorry for not really updating this?

I mean, there's nothing to talk about right now.

I'll update on Monday if I come out to him then.

(btw Let It Snow by John Green is perfect.)

 

Hello!

Actually, I am posting right now for some advice and help on how to come out to him. I know I need to think of him as another human, but in some way, I think of him as a human with something that holds me back. Sounds crazy, right?

Well, any advice? If you want more out of this thread, then please help as well as give me advice! ( please )