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Should I risk it ?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Fimo, Apr 8, 2014.

  1. Fimo

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    Hi !
    So as a few might (or might not) know from another of my threads, I have this good friend I knew a looong time ago, who I met again this november. I began to develop feeling for her, and eventually ended up falling madly in love ... you know, the usual shit !

    To make it short, there is this guy (we'll call him Guy) who likes her and is currently hitting on her like a hungry dog :eusa_clap ! And she is apparently "starting to have feeling for him" ... :bang:

    She NEVER had a boyfriend or any kind of romantic relationship before, and used to always complain about how she feels lonely, belittle nice couples, and was kind of desperate !

    She now knows I am bi; i didn't tell her directly, she actually asked my best friend (who answered positively). But I know she didn't mind, because she keeps talking to me, having good laughts with me or texting me all night long ! :thumbsup:

    But let's come to the point: we are both invited on 17th of April at one of our mutual friend's party (wich will probably include alcohool) ... :eusa_danc
    So we'll eventually get drunk and start to do crazy things ! And here's the part i wanted to discuss: I want to try someting ... like kissing her ! I already prepared a hundred scenarios in my head, and I'm completely ready for any possible reaction.

    And i really think i'll give it a go if she is not dating Guy by then ... but is that ok ? Should I really do it ? And will I risk someting, like loosing her ?
    And what if she is dating him by then, do I still do something ? even if it's not "politically correct", I think I got to a point where I don't really care anymore about what's moral or not !
    Please help me, because it's all fucking up my mind right now ! :help:
    Thanks :icon_wink
     
  2. Agaetis Byrjun

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    I really think talking with her more directly before the party would be a better idea. To be honest making a move at a party, I think it would be easier for her to dismiss her own reaction as "just the booze talking," and just get unpredictable and awkward. Better to talk to her in a situation where you both can be serious and honest, both to yourselves and to each other.
     
  3. B B

    B B
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    I don't think it would be right to kiss her while she's drunk. It would be like taking advantage of a situation in which she can't understand what's happening or stop you if she doesn't want to kiss you. If you kiss her while she's drunk, there's a good probability she'll get angry or disappointed or even freaked out when the effect of the alcohol will be gone. If this is the case, your friendship could end; also, how could a kiss change something in what she feels for you? If you really like her, you maybe should give her some hints and see how she reacts; in this way, if she doesn't like you she won't get them, and your friendship will remain solid. I don't think a kiss while she's drunk and maybe already with a boyfriend cold make things better... You could also ruin things between her and the guy, and she could be upset for this too, risking your friendship even more. In conclusion, I think the best thing to do is to give her hints or to talk directly to her and see how she reacts; kissing her like that would not be right towards her.
     
    #3 B B, Apr 8, 2014
    Last edited: Apr 8, 2014
  4. CuteZhemn

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    I understand u have little time with this, if im correct. Kiss would be awesome to go with but yeah.. It might bd shocking start. Hope you can talk with her about it. Cuz i know it will be painfull to watch her with someone else..
     
  5. Fimo

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    First, thanks for answering so fast :slight_smile:
    Well I didn't think of "kissing" like i'll just rush on her, i thought of just asking her if it'll be ok to kiss, and only do it if she says it's ok ! A friend did that and it worked, they didn't freek out, and they are not dating now !
    Besides, i've already been to a party with her and she ended up kissing someone (after this, it didn't seem awkward between them), and it apparently wasn't the first time it ended that way ! And i remember i felt quite bad about letting an opportunity go, because i know i could have been at this guy's place (cuz she apparently already kissed girls too) ... and i'd hate it even more if i let an opportunity go again !
    It is right that i would feel bad if they start to date, but i already prepared myself ... seriously, it's been 4 month i know for sure that nothing is gonna be possible !

    But it would be one only night before I could ,hopefully, finally let it go ! It is more of a way for me to be able to forget her at last ... you know ?!

    And about talking to her ... i'm reeealy not good at this, i know for sure that (if i'm not at least a bit drunk), when i'll be in front of her, my words wont go out, and it'll be even more awkward :/ !
    Gosh I really don't know what to do !
     
    #5 Fimo, Apr 8, 2014
    Last edited: Apr 8, 2014
  6. Fimo

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    Really, No one ?
    I really need to know, i'm getting more and more confused ! I talked about it to my best friend, and she said i should give it a try ...
    Please i really do need an answer ... and I swear i'll stop bothering you after thursday night :slight_smile:
     
  7. SkylarRain

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    I think that it would be easier to talk to her in a setting where there are no distractions(unlike a party where she could avoid the subject by going and doing something else) but still in a setting where she won't freak out or make a scene(like a coffee shop or mall) you shouldn't be intoxicated or have taken anything that could impair your ability to think rationally(if you are drunk or high she could think that you don't understand what you are saying or don't know what you are saying and won't take you as seriously.)