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Problems at home

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Aptiva, Apr 8, 2014.

  1. Aptiva

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    Okay, so I need a little help here.

    My dad has issues. He drinks a lot. And is an ass. Now, I'm worried that things are getting worse. He hasn't done anything directly to me or my brother, but my mom told me today of things he's done in the past. Apparently my dad has shoved her, thrown stuff at her and broken her things. He yells at her and blames her for everything. My dad is selfish and a bad person. A couple years ago my dad accused her of cheating which I know for a damn fact isn't true. And now, that we have this new dog that keeps peeing on everything, he's threatened to kill the dog. He even blames his irregular heart beat and his alcohol problem on my mom! He seems to be unable to do any wrong. He will yell at me and my brother over small things. My mom says that he's been jealous since day one.

    If things are getting worse, I might become violent towards my dad. I already dislike him as is, and now that I've learned about what he's done towards my mother, I have a hatred for him. I already shout back when he yells at me, and I'm a bit worried that I might escalate to threatening him...

    Any advice? I want them to be divorced. I don't want to hear from my dad ever again. He cannot be fixed, and I want him to have a taste of his own medicine. To be honest, I wish he was dead.
     
    #1 Aptiva, Apr 8, 2014
    Last edited: Apr 8, 2014
  2. WhiteShadows

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    Well, that certainly doesn't sound healthy. I really think your mum needs to consider having him move out, but there's not much you can do to control that process. I hope someone else has some better advice :/
     
  3. Aptiva

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    And, before anyone else mentions it, I do have my own psychological issues to deal with.
     
  4. greatwhale

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    I'm sorry you're going through this, no one should have to endure this abuse.

    I have been where you are; my nemesis was a stepfather, and like you I wished death upon him every day for the abuse he heaped on me over the few years he lived with us. He actually did die a little later, of driving while drunk.

    Don't do anything violent toward him, that will only make him play the victim. If he acts in any way abusive, and that includes verbal abuse such that if he engages in this behaviour you may feel physically threatened, then that's all it takes for the police to act and lay charges.

    Do not hesitate to call 911 the moment any of you feel threatened (it doesn't even have to be a real threat, the onus is on him to prove otherwise) force is the only language bullies understand.
     
  5. Theron

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    Sounds like my father. Any chance of convincing your mother to leave? It wouldn't be easy, I'm sure. My mother didn't leave my father until I was 26 and I'd been out of the house for ten years. She died several months later, unfortunately, because of stress and breast cancer.