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My boyfriend refuses to add me as a Facebook friend and it rather bothers me

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by johnnyr860, Apr 10, 2014.

  1. johnnyr860

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    At first I thought maybe he didn't want to add me because we are both guys in a relationship and he doesn't want people to find out about him liking guys but then I realized we can be facebook friends without having to show our relationship. He doesn't have to put that he is in a relationship with anyone or that he is dating me to have me as a facebook friend.

    In fact it says right on his profile interested in women to cover up the fact that he likes guys. I asked him 3x already and each time he either changed the subject or stopped responding in which case the next time he texted me back was the next day with something different to say that was totally unrelated. Makes me feel like he could be hiding something or like he is embarrassed or ashamed of me because we are both gay so he feels the need to hide me. But I asked the one friend he has who knows about us (a girl) if he was hiding anything since she is his friend on there and she said that she checked and he is not hiding anything.

    All his posts are public so I see no reason why he would want to hide me from what he posts if I can see them anyways by going to his profile. What should I do here? It rather bothers me but I don't like to be that person who confronts someone about something so most times I stay quiet. Also the relationship has been going fine there have been no arguments or fights we talk everyday just about unless we otherwise notify each other that one of us will be busy.
     
    #1 johnnyr860, Apr 10, 2014
    Last edited: Apr 10, 2014
  2. Tongue Flicker

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    I had an ex like this. I made a new fb account with fake photos and details and i found out he was either just too flirty or he has a secret 2nd or 3rd lover in there lol
     
  3. Chip

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    Honesty and authenticity is really core to any relationship. The fact he won't add you and won't talk about it is an enormous red flag. Not because he won't add you... But because he is being avoidant about something that's important to you.

    I suggest you tell him you need toe at least talk about it and need him to not be avoidant. If he still dodges, there probably are more serious issues and the relationship may not work.
     
  4. bingostring

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    You need to front it up with him

    But it could be as innocent as him not wanting to have two worlds collide .. Clearly he is a bit compartmentalised
     
  5. johnnyr860

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    Hey as far as I am concerned he is hiding nothing. I just told my bestie to unfriend me and add him on facebook for me and he did. My boyfriend accepted his request and my friend checked everything on his profile out. My boyfriend has no clue who my friend even is my boyfriend adds anyone and everyone who sends him a request of course minus me. But my friend did confirm there was nothing he was hiding from me.

    Of course there was a couple of really old pictures and statuses with him and an ex but when looking at the date my friend said these pictures and statuses date back to before me and him were even together so as far as I am concerned he is hiding nothing. Now it is just a case of trying to figure out why my friend request has been denied and why he changes the subject each time I try to bring it up. I thank you for the idea it worked like a charm but unlike your ex my boyfriend is not hiding anything that my friend could see and report to me.
     
  6. Gentlady

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    Agreed.
     
  7. myrtle33

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    I third this. I would be wary, myself. There are ways to hide things in facebook so that only certain groups of people see, just to put that out there...