Led on but still want to be friends...

My situation is a little complicated, but here's the short and sweet of it: I asked this guy out on a date last December, but thanks to ridiculously crazy schedules (he's a college swimmer), we weren't able to go on a real date until several months later. We still saw each other about once a week but never for more than about half an hour. He's not the greatest at responding to texts/calls, so it made it difficult to stay in touch when we were apart, but when we were together, everything was wonderful!

About a week ago, I decided to talk to him about the texting problems and not seeing him as often as I'd like, and everything went really well. Then, I asked him about something else that had been on my mind, and things didn't go quite so well. In the past, he had introduced me to his friends as just a "friend," and I assumed it was because he didn't know how I felt. Well, I asked him if he considered me his boyfriend, and he responded saying he didn't consider me more than a friend. He said he just wasn't ready for that kind of a commitment with swimming and he wouldn't be able to give the other person the attention they deserved.

I was devastated and confused since he had agreed to go on a date, and I thought we had been a couple for the past three months. It's been a week since finding out, and I've finally mostly recovered from the immediate aftershocks of finding this out. I do still want to be friends, but I don't know what to say next time I see him. Part of me hopes there might be a future with him when he's ready to date, but I also don't want to get hung up on him if there's no chance of anything working out in the future. It's not that I'm just looking for love. It's not that I want to be with someone. It's that I want to be with HIM. It's not that I want to move on just so that I can find someone else. I was fine when I was alone before I met him. It's just different now that I have.

It's likely that I'll see him on Sunday. Do I talk to him about what happened and what I'm feeling? Do I have the conversation with him that I still want to be friends, or do I just treat him as a friend and carry on as if nothing happened? Do I subtly bring up the fact that I'm still interested and open to trying again when he's ready?

 

Like I said, it's complicated. His schedule for swimming is really hectic. I swam at a national level in high school, so I understand how demanding training is, and swimming in college is a lot more intense compared to high school. His big meet was in February, so the month or so leading up to it was even busier than usual. We would eat together after he had practice once a week, but yes, I did want to see him more. That's one of the things I had talked to him about.
The reason I thought we were dating was because after asking him on a date in December, I asked him again after his big meet. And yes, I did use the word "date." When we did get to go on a date (or at least what I thought was a date), we went out to FroYo together and then went back to his dorm to watch a movie together. Then, I played piano for him and we sang together.
There are some other factors involved that, perhaps, allowed me to overlook some of the signs. It was the first time I'd been in a relationship (or at least what I thought was one), and I didn't know if the problems with communication we were having were a result of his disinterest or other factors, such as his really busy schedule or the fact that he's been suffering from depression. Whenever we were together, he never gave me any reason to believe we weren't more than friends. He's just the nicest guy. When I did talk to him about communication, he said that he's like that with everyone and it's one of his problems. I talked to a mutual friend before this who had said the same thing.
There's definitely a lot going on, but when it's all said and done, I do still care about him. A lot of the problems that I was having with him were the result of him being so busy. As he said, he's just not ready for this because he doesn't think he'd be able to give the other person the attention they deserve. Maybe in a year or two he'll have figured a few things out and will be ready. He does honestly feel bad about not having time to hang out more and that he doesn't text back sometimes, and I'm confident that when he's ready to date, he'll be better about it. I don't know, but I wish there was a way to let him know I still want to be friends for now (and possibly more when he's ready) without making things awkward.

 

Thanks, guys. Like I said, I'm new to dating and don't really know at what point you're "in a relationship" or how that all works. After he told me he didn't see me as more than a friend, I realized we weren't actually dating or in any sort of relationship beyond friends.

I just wish he had told me he wasn't ready for a relationship when I asked him on a date back in December. I did do things over the past couple months to let him know I liked him. For example, I made him a handmade valentine for Valentine's Day. Also, since I'm pretty musical, I arranged some of his favorite songs on the piano to play for him. I even arranged a version of his favorite song that I taught him to play. I mean, I realize some of these things you might do for a friend but not all together. Plus, the whole asking him on a DATE thing isn't exactly ambiguous or unclear. I think he's just a really nice guy who doesn't know how to say "No" sometimes.