Should I tell him?

Hiya, guys! It's me again So, um, this is about a guy I'm writing about but perhaps unusual to a few but not all. Well, it happens to people, so here goes.



I, I am in love with my step brother. I'm not ashamed of it, at all but I'm scared, yes. Okay, well, let's get started. I've had a terrible past, a really terrible one... I used to be abused by my step dad, which is my step brother's dad. (I still get emotionally and mentally abused by my step dad but oh well). He used to grab my wrist, throw me down, corner me, pin me up against the wall, grab me by my collar of my top, throw stuff at me, like food, plates, TV remotes... Oh, it could just go on... So, the point is, is that after a while, a boy came down, and I had no idea who it was. I soon enough found out it was my step brother and he was two years older than me, so he was nine at the time, where I was seven.


During that time, I was in and out of a friendship with my best friend, Kyle who I had a strong crush on. (I still do, I have never told him, so I've just been left with this haunting uncertainty, which just kills but I'll talk about Kyle another time, or not... It depends). So, yeah, I was lost, vulnerable and I was needy, which really shouldn't have been happening at that age but it was. That's just my past, I suppose. Continuing on. Lee, my step brother picked up on it, and I told him about my step dad, and he had even witnessed it, so he knew how bad it was.


As time went along, which was a few weeks, as he came down every weekend and stayed over, I began to develop feelings for him. First it was small and I could bat them away but later on, they got stronger and stronger and I felt so happy around Lee, so sometimes I'd just unexpectedly hug him, ask if I could sleep with him at night and if we could do more stuff together. He always obliged which made me feel so happy back then, so so happy.



Furthermore, as my feelings developed even further, they became sexual. Yes, I know, at the age of seven. I can't be serious, can I? No, I'm dead serious. Let's just say I've always been quite a sexually active guy, as in thought wise. I would get horny, as in thought-set, not down there obviously because I was only seven but yeah. So, one night, me and Lee were just on my, no our bunk-bed, as we always slept together all the time because he may have only been my step brother but he was like a brother I never had but ever so lovely. I, of course felt the same. We classed ourselves as brothers. 'Brothers from other mothers' we'd always say. Back to topic, I'd sometimes just pull his pyjama bottoms down and I'd lie on his butt because, well it was so soft and it made me feel happy and safe. I've always found that. The sweet sweet aroma of a man always made me feel safe and secure, which I suppose is pretty weird but yeah. That would go on for longer than half an hour sometimes, and he, weirdly never had a problem with it. It wouldn't go much father than that, just me perhaps licking him :icon_redf




This continued each night, of every time he was over, so it was quite frequently. Later on, like maybe a year, it intensified. One time, when I was doing my usual, Lee moved away and looked at me. "I don't want to do this any more, let's have butt-sex!', and I was like, 'What is that?', in my head. I obliged, and followed him to his bed on the floor. He told me what he wanted to do and bought out his dongle (I'm gonna call it ), and I looked at it in disgust because I never saw someone else's dongle before, so it creeped me out. (I'm still obsessed with butts and I don't like most dongles because they creep me out, odd ones I could cope with, I think but I dunno. So, yeah, I'm just not a dongle guy, I'm for the butt but not for anal, it's weird. I'm hypersensitive, so that's probably why). He told me what to do, just to lay there, and he'd insert his dongle. After about ten seconds, though after he gave a few passionate thrusts, I gave in and asked if we could stop. He happily obliged but on one condition, he wanted us to sleep naked, and I obliged happily. I loved seeing his butt, so I wasn't going to turn him down.



Occurrences like that continued on for a few more years, until he reached twelve, where he stopped coming over because of an incident with his over-protective mum, and such. So, yeah, he stopped coming over for a good two and a bit years, which killed me inside. I was always asking how my Leebob was doing, wondering when he'd ever come down again and hoping he was okay.



After those two and a bit years, he started coming back again but it was less frequently, and he wasn't allowed to stay over, so what we used to do couldn't happen anymore... It hurt. After another year and a bit, where he would be 14 now, he came over a few times and he had to look after me. I wish I spent more of my time downstairs with him but I didn't because I was scared of him because I hadn't seen him in so long and I was worried I'd cause friction, so I stayed away. It was also because my heart was pounding so much that I felt sick, so I had to stay glued to my bed playing on my Wii U because I couldn't face him downstairs, and that I'm ashamed of still. At the end, when my step dad returned home, he had to go shortly after. He came up to see me and said goodbye to me, and such but before he left the room, he looked at me, smiled, waited a minute and then left the room. It was almost like he wanted to say something but I was just doubled over so much by the fact that he still cared about me, he still cared about his li'l bro. 'Bye, Yi' he said 'I'll see you again.'



Now, only this last January, I saw Lee once more but this time was even more of a significant time. It was my mum's 40th. We bonded like we used to, he chatted to me, and I came out to him! Yes, I came out to my crush but I haven't confessed yet but I do, do plan to do that, which is what this topic is all about and why it was made How did I come out to him? Well, I asked, extremely gayly with a very shy gay flick of my fluffy winter hood while I was talking. It was like this. "Does this hoodie look gay to you? It's so fluffy!"


He said. "No, it doesn't. Who said you were gay?" He asked, as if he was gonna punch the soul who dare said that to his li'l bro.


"No one, just me. I mean, this hoddie's so fluffy, so don't you think it makes me look gay?" I asked him.



"No, not really." He said again.


"Oh, well, I am gay and I was trying to hint that but I supposed it failed but I got here." I said, feeling really happy.


He congratulated me, said some really encouraging advice and said that he didn't care about it, he still loved his li'l bro for who he was, which was just oh so beautiful! He then said something extremely lovely. "Anyone lays a finger on you, and I'll be there to sort 'em out. I know we've had our fights and I know we don't see each other as much but just know, I really do care about you and I'm always here for you, bro." Then, he smiled, leaned over to me and stayed there for a bit, his hot breath on my neck. I thought he was gonna kiss me but he didn't... On that night, I hugged him multiple times, touched him and I got a chance to feel his warm embrace because my best friend Bethan dared him to, and he was so warm, gentle and loving with that cwtch!



So, yeah, on that night, my heart was racing, my thoughts were all over the place and I wasn't thinking straight. I didn't eat as much as I thought I would because I love ma' buffet food but I was so focused on Lee that I couldn't eat a lot but he was so worth it! He makes me feel so happy beyond belief, and every time I see him again, my feelings surface.


Now, what I need to ask is this... We're supposed to be going to Spain next year, and he'll probably come along, where him and I will probably share a room together. Do you reckon I should confess to him on one of the nights that we're all alone in our room, so I won't have to deal with this love melancholy anymore or should I just leave it stay in here killing me to the core? I see him rushing past me with all his girlfriends, maybe or maybe not noticing my glint in my eye for him, that spark that wants him ever ever so much... I'm convinced he's bi, after all we did together and how he still acts around me. He must be because how else would he know about butt-sex, or anything like that? He must have watched gay porn, as well. He must've...


So, I dunno... I really wanna confess to him because here I am mourning over him, like he's dead but he isn't, I just feel so dead inside Someone, anyone, help me...



Thanks, guysies, and I apologise for the length.

 

Hola, lovely person! How are you? Thanks ever ever so much for responding to this topic, it means so much to me! [


Aw, really? That's so sweet of you! I really hope so too! Yeah, he must be, why else would he have sex with me, and like it and be the dominator of it all? Yeah, I think so too and when he came up stairs to say goodbye and at the party, as well. Yeah, he could maybe just be gay for me, though, which would be so much easier!




Yes, I definitely will wait. I don't see him that often anyways, so I think it will be best to do so when we're in Spain, and it's at night, so I can confess to him. I'm 90% sure he'll say yes but I'm 99% sure he won't go telling everyone and ruining the holiday. I know he's not like that but I suppose, you never know... Yeah, he may do and yes that love does really hurt I'm still suffering from Kyle because I never ever told him and if it's a deep love, it can never be shook unless you confess but that'll be hard... I never see him anymore, and with Kyle it was so complicated... I'd just say to leave it for now and I'll explain Kyle another time.


No, you can't and I sure fire won't! What I would ask him, though if he is bi but doesn't feel the same, could me and him just sleep together for one night once more (not that way ) If he is straight or won't admit it this time, I will ask for a long hug, just so I can feel properly dismissed. What do you think? A fair deal? /COLOR]

 

I sure fire will do! He's so tall, cuddly and hot! So, I definitely will! Yeah, I hope I won't have to as well. Yeah, let's hope!