So I went out for drinks last night, and as usual when I've had a drink, I did something I've regretted today! I left my friends and decided to go to a gay bar alone. It was quite boring and uneventful whilst I was there, but as I left the bar there was a man in a car across the street who shouted hello to me and knew my name. Now I was too drunk to see who he was, and I can't even remember whether I said hello back or just ignored him. The more I've thought about it today though, the more I'm thinking that it could have been someone who knows my dad. I'm not out to anyone, and I can't see myself ever coming out to my dad as he's openly homophobic and very old fashioned in his views. So the thought of this person telling my dad that they saw me coming out of a gay bar has had me worried all day! I really don't know what to do if my dad confronts me about it. I'm trying to tell myself to stop worrying about something which hasn't happened yet, but I can't help it. I just have a horrible feeling that I'm going to be outed, and I just feel terrified. I just needed to get this off my chest as I can't talk to anybody I know about this.
Just a thought, but is this bar you went to very obviously a gay bar, or is it fairly discrete about it?
You have a few options here, if indeed the man does mention seeing you leaving a gay bar to your dad. You could either take it as an opportunity to open up to your dad or you could lie and maybe come out to him later on your own terms. It is okay to wait, if you aren't ready. You could always say that you were unaware that is was a gay bar and left when you realized it was or you could say that a friend of yours wanted to check it out and you went along. The idea of being outed can be completely terrifying, but how you handle it is still completely up to you.
Thanks for your comments guys. This bar is a well known gay bar, and is located in a gay area of the town where I'm from. I am a terrible liar (which may seem strange as I still lie to people about my sexuality) so lying to my dads face if he asks me will be difficult. There is no way I can come out to him though, I just can't do it. I'm trying to stop myself from worrying, I think I'm just gonna lie and say I have no idea what this person is talking about, he must have mistaken me for someone else.
