So today I was talking to my boyfriend about wondering if it's possible that my sexuality is genetic or somehow related to my hormonal imbalance. He got a little unhappy and asked me to "stop rationalizing" Here's what he said. Not verbatim cause I am not sure I remember exact wording "It's you. It dosent need to be rationalized. There dosent need to be a reason, it's who you are" Just thought I aught to share it Thoughts?
I agree with him. Why overanalyse and put labels everywhere? I'm still not entirely sure if I'm bi or gay. But then I realised that tbh, no matter whom I attracted to, it'll be the personality that makes me like them. Labels are really there for other people and not yourself. And who cares what others think as long as you're happy?
I agree with the above. For the labeled, labels are restricting, alienating, and a source of anxiety for many. Society tells us we need to fit into these neat, predetermined boxes and put so much emphasis on how we identify ourselves that we sometimes feel bad if our orientation isn't readily obvious or clear to us. Sexuality is fluid and dynamic, there are so many layers to it that it's unfair to force someone into a category they're not sure suits them. Forget about labels. Men are people. Women are people. There could be individuals of either gender (or somewhere in between) worthy of your love. I was straight, then fell in love with a married man. We've been together for nine months. What matters is that the person you love loves you back and makes you happy. How or why you love them shouldn't matter or make you question who you are.
It's okay to think about the origins of sexuality, and there is definitely a lot of research suggesting genetics plays a huge role and that it seems sexuality is, for most people, predetermined before birth. I think some rationalization is okay because no rationalization plays into the hands of homophobes who consider sexuality to be a choice or that non-heterosexuality is a product of a child's upbringing. But, your boyfriend is right in saying that you are who you are, and sexuality is very much an individual thing. Chances are likely that your sexuality has really been the same since you were born, but your understanding/acceptance of it may change over time. Personally, even though I was always very scientific (and now studying to be a scientist), learning about the genetics of sexuality was only a minor aspect that helped me accept myself. It was really my own lived experiences of being unable to have any sexual attraction to women that convinced me my attraction to men is not going to change. The science just confirmed my own observations, and it was most helpful in understanding things like "reparative therapy" are pseudoscientific ideas.
