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I need some help about trusting

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by jperales29, Apr 14, 2014.

  1. jperales29

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    Hi everybody, Lets make this short, I'm 22 and I have a relationship with a 37 years old man, I knew I was gay since a young age but I couldn't be myself until I got independet, the thing is that I met my actual boyfriend in a Website called Badoo, I love him since the first time a saw him and he felt the same two, now we have 3 months of relationship and we are living together, I'm a little bit scared because he has been in this world for more than me and he has lots of friends and stuff, one day I was really really insecured and took his phone and read a message where someone asked him who was the gay with in on the whatsapp profile picture (ME), and he said that I was his brother, and that gay was his only love, we had a fight for that and we solved it, I realize that he did that as a game, because the other gay lives really form from here, but since that I've been feeling insecure, he loves me and he spends all of his free time with me so there is no reason that he is having someone else, I need to find a solution for this because I have started to feel some pain in my chest because of that, and thinking and thinking about being cheated. I love him and he loves me too, I think that the problem is myself. What can I do? I don't want to feel this way anymore!
     
  2. JakeHas

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    Don't question it. Trust him. Please for your own sake.. I'm telling you this out od experience. I had an issue similar to this with the guy I thought I would live my life with. It turned me into a clingy worrying person that doesn't trust your partner. I lost him two months ago. Today, right now would have been our one year anniversary together. And instead of spending it happy with him, I'm spending it sitting here in biology with y head down and crying. Dont end up like me. Trust him to death, be with him, prove to him to you 100% trust in him. Don't hurt like I do.
     
  3. DangerAlex

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    While I don't see the point in his game (wouldn't you share your happiness with people, even if they are far away, instead of calling your boyfriend your "brother"? Maybe I'm wrong here), I feel like the previous poster is right: Your worrying and lack of trust and paranoia will likely end your relationship. My boyfriend and I are working through trust issues right now too--actually posted about it last night, my post is "Boy Meets Boy"--, but not about infidelity.

    Take comfort in the fact the the person he was talking to is far away. Maybe your boyfriend just likes the romantic attention he gets by feeding people lines?

    Good luck, I hope everything works out for you.
     
  4. PatrickUK

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    Sometimes in life, you just have to put your faith and trust in people and hope they don't break your heart. It's not an easy thing to do as you are taking a risk and most human beings are (to some extent) risk averse, especially when it comes to emotions and feelings. Perfectly understandable, but it can hold us back in so many ways.

    Insecurity breeds more insecurity and doubt and can undermine an otherwise good relationship. You are in the very early stages of a relationship and it's a vulnerable time as past issues may still be present and you are only just getting to know each other. The thing that makes a new relationship exciting and thrilling, is also the thing that has greatest potential for damage or destruction. It's why so many relationships with potential fail in the first year.

    It's okay to share your insecurities and worries here (in fact, this is a very good place to share them) but don't be too afraid to take a chance on love. When it works out, it's the greatest feeling.
     
  5. mikey1345

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    If you've decided to move past this issue then you need to either trust him, or get out of the relationship. I don't know why he would play this sort of 'game' but if you're moving forward and want to move on trust him. And don't snoop no good ever came from snooping. I get that you're a little insecure in the fact that he has been out in the 'gay world' longer than you have, but he chose you. So trust until you're given a reason not to.