She reciprocated but there’s uncertainty.

I met this fantastic girl around the first term of college (around about January this year), we have quite a few significant things in common, have similar sense of humour, political views, interests (etc.) and told her that I liked her a few months after getting to know her a bit better (Valentine’s day). She said that she reciprocated my feelings but explained that it was difficult for her to express her feelings and talk about emotions and she didn’t know how she ‘felt’ just that she ‘liked me a lot’. This didn’t really bother me too much at the time, all I could think about was the potential it had. I didn’t take what she said too seriously and felt that things would be different in a few more weeks of getting to know one another (I just assumed it would be easier for her to express herself after we were more comfortable with one another). I asked her out a week after telling her that I liked her and she said ‘yes’ but said that she was really busy at the time with a lot of things to deal with in her life and would let me know when she could. I took a step back and didn’t push things any further for a couple of weeks. We would meet up occasionally in our group of friends and things were fine. We just carried on as normal, made small talk etc.

However, a month or so passed by since I asked her out and I hadn’t heard anything more about going out on a ‘date’. We met up for drinks with friends one night and, by that time, my feelings had developed even further and I still wasn’t too sure how she was feeling about it all. I explained to her about how I felt, how it’s the first time I’ve been in this situation and what I wanted and she said that she was ‘in a weird place’ and that she didn’t really know what she wanted. After that I haven’t text her very much and we haven’t spoken about it.

The biggest concern for me is the uncertainty and what to do about things now. It’s been 2 months or so and things haven’t really progressed any further which leads me to assume that things aren’t really going anywhere and she’s not as invested as I am. However, I appreciate that my expectations are probably really high and that I want too much too soon (we’ve only really known each other properly for 3 months) - therefore I feel like I’m being impatient and I’m not taking into consideration that she has a lot of other stuff to deal with besides what I want. Also, she isn’t as in touch with her emotions as I am so she probably has no intention of being quite distant at times. Nonetheless I’m having gut feelings that are telling me to take a step back from it all and call it a day.

I want to be patient, although how long is too long to ‘wait’ for someone that isn’t sure of what they want? I’m perhaps being really naïve about the situation and my hormones are flying everywhere clouding my judgment at times. One part of me wants explain to her that I can’t really stay in contact with her if things aren’t going to go anywhere because I feel too much for what it is, whereas the other part wants to see where it will go and continue to stay in contact with her despite negative emotional gut feelings telling me to stop. I don’t want to act out of impatience or to push her. The thought of cutting her off entirely at this point is off-putting because things are still pretty new. I’m just a little bit stuck with it all because it is a first time 'she likes me back' scenario.

Any advice on this would be greatly appreciated and thanks a lot for reading this. I really needed to vent.

 

Thanks for reading and replying both, this has been at the back of my mind constantly. I really appreciate the advice. It is frustrating because I'm here ready for the whole romantic shebang and it would be really disappointing if it was to just fizzle out. She said that she's not really into affection, yet she does hug back if I initiate it (we practically embraced for a good few minutes on Valentine's day). Nonetheless I'm trying to stay positive about things. Just needed to get this off my chest.