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crying in front of very new boyfriend?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by mikey1345, Apr 14, 2014.

  1. mikey1345

    mikey1345 Guest

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    About a month ago I started seeing someone new, it's only my second relationship my first one lasted a little over a year but ended because I wasn't willing to come out just yet. I did end up coming out and for the most part was received well. Except my mum, we really don't have a relationship anymore, and she's unwilling accept me. I am coming to terms with ths, it's been a couple of months. Although I realize there is nothing else I can do to make her accept me and I'm learning to live with it, it still hurts. A lot.

    So anyway, I've been seeing this guy for about a month and he's great! We really click! I was over at his place last night and we were just cuddling on the couch watching a movie and when it ended we kinda just stayed cuddled up and talked. We were talking for about 2 hours when we started talking about coming out and out families etc. He told me all about his story, then we got on to mine. I started of telling him how supportive my dad and brothers have been and kind of left it at that. He asked about my mum. So I told him the long version of the story (I came out, she said a lot of hurtful things and now basically ignores me)

    I guess I got a little emotional during this, it started with just a couple tears, but gradually turned into me sobbing into his chest. Now, I know crying is fine and there is nothing wrong with, it's normal and everybody does it. I'm just kind of embarrassed, we've only been going out for a month and havent even done anything sexual beyond kissing and cuddling. That was last night, I went home shortly after, but I haven't talked to him since. I'm too embarrassed to call or text him and he hasn't gotten a hold of me today either.

    Rationally, I know this shouldn't be a big deal, but I'm still embarrassed and really hope I didn't ruin a good thing. Would this scare you off?
     
  2. DangerAlex

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    I cried on my boyfriend's chest about a month into our relationship too. My schedule was changing at the time and I was barely going to get to see him, so I got really emotional as we were talking and cuddled on his couch. I cried on his chest, and he held me and stroked my hair and rubbed me and squeezed me. And to this day, it's one of his fondest memories he has of us.

    I don't think you should worry. Chances are he'll be happen to have been the one who was there for you comforting you at an emotional moment. And seeing someone's vulnerability and being their support can really strengthen bonds.

    ---------- Post added 14th Apr 2014 at 07:17 PM ----------

    Also, I would text him if I were you. Something light, like "Sorry about last night, obviously I'm still workingthrough things. Thanks for being there though. How has your day been?" and just have a conversation with him. You have no reason to be ashamed of showing the one you love your emotions. I can almost guarantee he won't think less of you for it.
     
  3. Julieno

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    Don't stress too much about it. It is not even a bad thing. I think is soething cute and bonding.

    But i would advice you to text him and even make a joke about it if you want so hr can see you are fine with it :slight_smile:
     
  4. mbanema

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    All I can say if he's a guy worth being with he'll understand why you got so emotional telling your story -- I remember it well and I can only imagine how painful that experience must have been for you.

    To answer your question, no this definitely wouldn't scare me off. Sure, it may have been a somewhat uncomfortable situation, but I'd honestly be flattered to know that somebody trusted me enough to be in such a vulnerable state and was comfortable enough to open up to me. I can't guarantee I'd have anything helpful to say, but I definitely wouldn't think less of anyone for something like that.
     
  5. GayDadStr8Marig

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    The first time I met my boyfriend in person I ended up crying into his shoulder for over an hour standing in a church parking lot after a group meeting. That evening of group and our time in the parking lot sealed the path for both of us that we had suspected while conversing online. Being able to take each other as you are and building a relationship on trust and respect is an amazingly rewarding experience. Give yourself a break, call or text him, and let him know that you appreciate him being there for you last night and you are looking forward to seeing him again.
     
  6. fortheloveoflez

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    Please don't give up! If you really like him don't let things go just because you were embarrassed! I say, if you want to talk to him again (it seems like you do) then do that as normal!

    No, it wouldn't scare me off. Ok, because I know how hard it can be to come out. It can really be heart wrenching when you get rejected like that from your family. But also, in some ways, I'd be relieved and refreshed that the person is comfortable enough to show vulnerability in front of me. I don't think expressing sorrow for difficult circumstances is a bad thing.

    Best wishes!
     
  7. resu

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    At first I thought from the title you were just naturally emotional, but your story is very moving (who can stay calm talking about rejection by their own mother?), and I think your boyfriend would understand.

    Just tell him thanks for being there for you, and you could add you were embarrassed (to which he will probably reply it's okay). Besides, this is a good test case for your relationship because eventually you would have to have had this conversation and you would need to know how he reacts. Any decent, caring guy, should have the emotional maturity to realize this is a big deal and will stay with you because this issue is not your fault. Only a callous, shallow guy would be scared off, and such a person is not a good fit, anyway.
     
  8. mikey1345

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    Thanks everyone! I called him last night and we talked on the phone for over an hour and were good! I really like this one:dry: guess I was just really scared I'd messed it up! But he's awesome and this doesn't seem to changed anything in a negative way!
     
  9. WhiteShadows

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    If anything I think it's a sign of trust and bonding that you let him in like that. I think it's fine :slight_smile:
     
  10. blueskies

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    It's awesome he reacted well when you called and talked to him!

    I was crying, like actually full on sobbing, into my boyfriend's chest before we even officially became a couple and it didn't scare him away even though I was certain it would. I've since cried in front of him a couple of times and it's still a bit embarrassing and awkward, but being able to do that and having him comforting me is actually really nice.