1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

crushing on a straight friend.... ugh

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Sam2, Apr 14, 2014.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Sam2

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2014
    Messages:
    132
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    colorado
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Family only
    crushing on a straight friend is the wooooooooorst. He had to stay at my house for a while, do to problems at his home. I fell for him quick, but I knew he was straight so trying to hit on him was out of the question. But it seemed everyday i liked him more and more. when he left I couldn't help but cry that night. not so much that he was gone, but the fact that after getting to know him so well i realized what a kind, sweet and cute (don't even get me started) guy he is, and i never even hinted towards liking him. not even the small tests like looking him in the eyes or trying 1 lingering touch, cause we had gotten very close. Idk, i guess just knowing i can never be with him sucks. :frowning2:

    anyone else go through something like this?
     
  2. awesomekid

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2014
    Messages:
    43
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    I am and it sucks. I am telling you know, keep busy and walk away. Do not look for signs if he is gay or at least curious. It'll make it worst for you. I know the pain, like no other. It's not worth it. You deserve to be happy. Liking him will make you miserable.
     
  3. FreeFlow9917

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 29, 2013
    Messages:
    608
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Illinois
    OMG Been there before, don't fret dude, enough time will pass before the time comes to find a true love of yours. You'll be able to break this crush, i used to have a hardcore crush on my bff and i never confessed it. Just Keep Calm and Love On.

    Oh god his look was so cute and his stare was breathtaking, when i was younger i used to try to talk him out of going out with girls and it didn't come till' later when i realized i loved him and i hated to see him go.
     
  4. thesleepingbear

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2014
    Messages:
    24
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Singapore
    ;-; stay strong! I agree with the replies above. It'll be hard. Proceed with caution! Don't ever try to force people into approving LGBT, though. Some people get a little freaked out :frowning2: Good Luck and be happy!
     
  5. Emmanuella

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2012
    Messages:
    431
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    La lune
    Aww, been there, done that!! The best thing to do is DISTANCE yourself, as hard as it may be. At least until your feelings begin to subside...
    It took me the longest while to get over my friend, but distance is the thing that helped the most! Also try to distract yourself! Try meeting eligible hot gay singles in your area :wink:
    Even though this guy might *seem* perfect, eventually you will find a guy that is perfect for YOU!
     
  6. Sam2

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2014
    Messages:
    132
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    colorado
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Family only
    thanks for all the advice! I still want to be friends with him. But he has some troubles anyway, I'm not sure it would be a great idea to get into a relationship with him. I guess it's the not knowing what could've/might've been that bugs me
     
  7. Beetle

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 15, 2014
    Messages:
    410
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    American in Ontario, Canada
    I'm going through it now, and have crushed on this one girl for at least 2 years, but since I recently embraced my sexuality and came out, I'm faithful I'll find someone who can love me back and I can feel my crush for her fading away.

    It also helps to think of ways that being in a relationship with said person wouldn't work out, and maybe think of some flaws he has. I know we all have flaws...but I find it has helped me get over this crush.

    It sucks, there are far more straight people in this world so I would say most of us go through this, we're more likely to become close friends with a straight person or see a straight person on the street and be attracted to them. We can't always help our feelings for them, much like they can't help that they can't have feelings for us, the same sex.
     
  8. Wolf123

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 24, 2014
    Messages:
    338
    Likes Received:
    7
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    I agree. I also think it depends on the person you are crushing on. One person I felt I had feelings for made me out to be some evil person lol. She simply asked why I had feelings for her and that she didn't want me to have feelings for her. In the end, I am sooooo happy it never played out because I actually started to see why she had very few if no friends. She played games with people and never took accountability for her actions. Everyone is different. I ended the friendship (if you can even call it that) because I grew tired of the put downs from her. I have found some people are just not meant to be in your life and its usually for the best. Not saying no one can be friends with their crush because many do; it just takes more effort and everything to keep it going...
     
  9. SaudadeCoimbra

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 15, 2013
    Messages:
    21
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Hey, recently I went through a similar situation. So basically I'm on the swim team. Well this year, my sophomore year, this crazy cute Aussie joined the team. He was sweet, cute, fun, just everything really. So I quickly started crushing, really really hard. We got on really well as well texted often. I kept getting mixed signals from him and I wasn't sure if he liked me. He always got nervous around me, he stared at me and he seemed to try harder to be "cool" when I was there. Well one day he invited me to a movie and then to hang out afterwards, and I really wasn't sure if this was a date or what. So I went, we had a great time, we watched a movie then played billiards at his place. The entire time, however, I was thinking about him (whilst playing billiards with him, stupid I know). After I left, I basically decided to end all the confusion once and for all, and sent him a text telling him everything. How I was gay, which absolutely no one knew and no one suspected, how I hung out with him kind of because I liked him and how I was confused by his actions. But most of all, I said that I still wanted to good mates, no matter what. He must have been in disbelief when he read that, because he replied like it was some sort of prank, but it wasn't, and I assured him that's how I felt. He was really cool with it and said he still wanted to be friends, but I could tell that he was unsettled by it. Things got awkward at the pool, it was strange to walk past each other in the hall way, and we basically stopped going out of our way to talk to each other. I mean, when we were together, like before swim practice, we would talk and stuff, but both of us felt too embarrassed/awkward to really strike up any significant conversation. This is where it gets good. So for a while, maybe a month and a half, things were awkward and I absolutely hated myself for coming out to someone, especially to him. He felt bad too, as he really didn't know how to respond but he felt bad just ignoring me. Eventually we started hanging out again though. Small at first, talking at lunch, nodding in the halls, texting a bit, but it added up. Eventually we started actually hanging out again, and started having fun again. I still liked him, I really did and I still do to a degree, but I guess what I mean to say is that you need to have the willpower to just see them as another one of the guys, not some love interest. It took so long, and it really hurt, almost physically, but if you just stop yourself from thinking about him in that way it will help A LOT. I even kept telling myself that maybe he liked me. Later he told me that he thought I was really cool (lol?) and it actually really hurt him that I only wanted to hang out because he was cute. But now we are best mates, and it's really really nice to have a friend that you're out to.
     
  10. JasonZilla

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 16, 2014
    Messages:
    11
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Kansas
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Oh yea.. Been there.. going through that. Mine didnt turn out so well. Trust me. Just enjoy him in your life and try not to focus on your feelings for him. It will screw you up if you don't. lol. Find someone who can feel the same way for you. Once you do, all those feelings for him will go away. I believe it just has a lot to do with the fact that as people we just want to love, and be loved. SO when we are alone per say, we want to love someone. sometimes we just fall for the people that are closest to us. Often I guess that is our best friend. Hope all ends well. Be strong.
     
  11. WhiteShadows

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2013
    Messages:
    1,034
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Australia
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Yeah... I've been there... read my blog if you want to hear the story

    Anyway... So I take it you're sure this guy's straight? That really sucks. But what usually helps is to distract yourself with other friends, and maybe think about other potential partners.
     
  12. Sam2

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2014
    Messages:
    132
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    colorado
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Family only
    pretty sure he's straight, he has a baby haha. (I just want to add that I've slept with girls to try and change myself... it was gross haha but i've still done it. So him having a kid doesn't necessarily mean he's straight. But it's a damn good sign). I'm thinking about telling him I'm gay, not that i have feelings for him, just that I'm gay. And i figure if he is gay he might try something. otherwise I'm just trying to keep my mind off it, still want to be friends and I don't want to ruin our friendship because i feel lonely right now. Thanks for all the advice
     
  13. JessRae

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 6, 2013
    Messages:
    251
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Phil
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    yeah been there done that!! way worst ever! but the good thing about that is that when you accept that both of you will never be together you could be his/her ally about something (vice versa). You could build a good relationship as friends even though she's straight. :grin:
     
  14. WhiteShadows

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2013
    Messages:
    1,034
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Australia
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Well, I don't think it would hurt to come out to him. Just be prepared that it's unlikely anything will happen.
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.