*Please I need some advice* I don't really know where else to go. Let me start by letting you know I am a person who attaches to people very fast and very easy. I've always been like this but it is a curse. So I met this guy on an app last week and we video chatted a couple times. We decided to meet up on Friday and I got there at 10pm. I had a wonderful time. We played video games, went and got some food, and watched Youtube videos. He is very sweet and nice. He ended up kissing me that night and it led to some more stuff. I ended up spending the night. The next day (Saturday) right as I got off of work I got a call from him asking if I wanted to go run errands with him. I agreed and we ran some errands. We wound up back at his place. I had my head resting on his lap as he was playing some video games and I looked up at him and he said to me "You know I don't just like the sexual stuff." I said "What else do you like" and then he said "Well you're pretty cool." and we continued to just relax. Again it escalated. And the next day I sent him a text saying: "Hey I know this is random but I know im quiet (I'm incredibly shy around people I don't know well) but I just wanted to be sure I wasn't giving off the impression that I was just hanging around you just for the sex. I actually think you're a pretty cool guy." and he said "I know you aren't hanging just for that and I told you already I'm not either. I'm attracted to you, so it's nice, but I ultimately like hanging out with you as well. " Later that night I ended up going over there again. You can probably connect the dots from the previous days to figure out how the night ended up going. I spent the night there again. I like this guy. I really do. But I really can't tell if he likes me. I know that text implies (at least to me it does) that he does kind of like me. But I don't know. Im the one who has to text first usually to get a response. Its really been bugging me. I can't just straight up ask him (I hate texting because I can't get a feel of how the other person is reacting). I don't know the next time I am going to see him and I HATE HATE texting people first because I always feel like I'm bugging them. So I'm afraid to ask him when he wants to hang out again. I also don't want to come off as I'm being overly attached. Advice would be GREATLY appreciated. Please.
The guy clearly likes you. It would be obvious to miss. I mean he invited you over to his place in which you spent more then one night coming over and stuff happened. He even said that he knows you like him and that you are not in this just for sex and that he is attracted to you it seems obvious that he has feelings for you. My boyfriend is always working or at school so the time we get to see each other or spend time with one another is limited since he works more hours then I do. But perhaps this guy you are seeing is in a similar situation where he is just like really busy working? With my boyfriend him being so busy with work and school prompts me to have to text him or call him first so maybe this guy is in a similar situation. If you like him then go with it. Tell him how you feel and if it bothers you a lot that you have to text him first then bring it up I know that can be hard but it wouldn't be that bad I am sure he would understand. Good luck.
[/COLOR]I honestly don't know what his days are like. I know he is on call at work. So its very sporadic. I know just the other day he had a 20 hour shift. So when he does work he is very busy (especially given his job). I guess im also afraid of rejection. Every time (and no im not exaggerating) I try to go out with someone i ALWAYS get shot down. So im afraid if I keep texting him first im going to come off as clingy and that will ruin it.
Well as long as you aren't blowing up his phone, texting out of the blue isn't too much. If you like him, and it sounds like he likes you, then it's totally okay!
Unfortunately I literally have no other activities besides work. There is no where for me to go around where I live and i have no friends that live here so Im just stuck in my room when im not at work
How about just straight up asking, "Would you prefer it if I waited for you to text, or do you like the level of frequency that I contact you now?" You could follow it by saying something like, "Because I really like hanging out with you, back...and if it was up to me, I wouldn't mind doing it more. But I want to respect your solitude/togetherness balance. I know not everyone's the same." -Then smile in a way that communicates that you're cool with it, and you understand that.
But again every time I text someone I feel that I'm bugging them. It is a problem that I've never been able to over come. So I have a hard time texting.
Think of it like this: How does it feel when someone your crushing on texts you? Even if you're busy at that momentand can't immediately respond, does it bother you. I love when my boyfriend texts me first, and they're usually the sweetest things. I know you say you're worried about bugging people, but in my experience it's a little different when there are feelings between to people. Just like you are wishing he would text you first and would probably be very happy if he did, he is most likely very happy to hear from you. You're still very early in the getting-to-know-you phase, so texting and phone calls are how you continue conversing and learning about each other (and probably continuing to develop your feelings) when you can't be or aren't together in person. Has he ever (so far, in the short time you've been talking to him) not responded? My advice: Don't be put off by texting him first. Don't feel like you are bugging him because, within reason, I'm sure you're not. He's told you he likes you, told you he likes your company and not just the sex, so he also likes your conversation. Some people are text responders and just not the text-first type, and that doesn't necessarily mean anything. I can almost guarantee he enjoys hearing from you, and as time goes on I'm sure he'll text you first sometimes. Don't sweat it! Good luck! I love to hear about budding romance
Thanks. I just have some serious confidence issues. Every time I have tried getting nito a relationship i get shot down. I mean every time. It takes a toll at your self esteem. Maybe im being paranoid?
I totally understand. Rejection will chip away at your self-esteem. But it sounds to me like you really don't need to worry about him rejecting you. Why? Because he's already accepted you. He likes you, enjoys your company more than just for sex, and by extension he likes talking to you. Rejection is a hard fear to overcome, but it doesn't seem to me like you really need to worry about that at this point. Just relax, have fun talking to him and getting to know him and spending time with him. Enjoy being crushed on by the person you're crushing on; that is such a wonderful feeling!
