1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Should've known this would happen...

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by YuriBunny, Apr 15, 2014.

  1. YuriBunny

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 10, 2014
    Messages:
    44
    Likes Received:
    7
    Location:
    I'm an introvert; I live in my head.
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    A guy friend of mine has a crush on me. I can't help but feel really bad for him... :frowning2: He just won't give up on me. I've told him so many times I'm a lesbian, and have even started to show more of my girlcrazy side in order to get him to realize it's not going to change. He says he wishes I were bisexual. And he seems so sad all the time! But he keeps trying to stay hopeful that I will start to like boys someday. No one's ever had a crush on me, and I guess I'm not very good at telling people I'm not interested. He's almost making me feel guilty. Being a lesbian is totally inconvenient. -.-
     
  2. thrnvlpidj

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 12, 2014
    Messages:
    292
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    It's his problem; not yours. Try to enjoy the adoration.
     
  3. An0n

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2014
    Messages:
    266
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    London
    Gender:
    Female
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Yes, and don't let him guilt trip you into dating him! If he really cared about you he wouldn't be forcing his feelings on you anyway, that's just selfish.
     
  4. lovely lesbian

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2013
    Messages:
    3,818
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    UK
    I agree don't let him guilt trip into going out with him like you said you have told him so many times your gay hopefully it will start sinking in for him
     
  5. YuriBunny

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 10, 2014
    Messages:
    44
    Likes Received:
    7
    Location:
    I'm an introvert; I live in my head.
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Ugh, I typed up a whole long response and then it all disappeared because my Internet stopped working. -_- Uh, let's see, to summarize some main points:

    1. He also won't stop calling me and emailing me. (This usually doesn't bother me, but my dad thinks he's annoying because of it.)
    2. My mom finds it funny.
    3. When I asked my sister for advice, she said, "Get a girlfriend and kiss her in front of him, and then he'll go away." My mom told her he'd probably kill her for kissing me. O.O
    4. Some of his emails make me really sad. I'm worried about him...
    5. My best friend hates him and doesn't like that he's around me all the time.
    6. My teacher actually asked me if he was stalking me. o.o
    7. One of his recent emails said something like: "You don't know how awful it makes me feel to know that I have no chance with you just because of what gender I am. You keep rubbing it in my face."
    8. Everyone at school knows he likes me. It's quite obvious.

    Oh, and An0n, I wanted to say I really like your sig. ^.^
     
  6. thrnvlpidj

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 12, 2014
    Messages:
    292
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Ask your teacher to give a little presentation on stalking.

    Maybe your dad could have a little chat with him?
     
  7. resu

    Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2013
    Messages:
    4,968
    Likes Received:
    395
    Location:
    Oklahoma City
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    You need to be more serious with him and tell him the consequences if he keeps bothering you. Nip this in the bud before it takes over both of your lives.
     
  8. Fallingdown7

    Fallingdown7 Guest

    I agree with the others. If he likes you, he needs to get over it because you're gay, though I do sympathize with the both of you. I think this way for all sexualities though. I had a crush on a straight girl, and she wasn't bothered at ALL when she found out, but made it clear nothing could happen between us. So we had to stop talking for a while until I sorted out my feelings. I think something similar should be done here. If someone doesn't like you back, best to find ways to get over it.
     
  9. An0n

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2014
    Messages:
    266
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    London
    Gender:
    Female
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Haha. Witty, and not bad ideas either.

    Yuri, you're not rubbing it in his face. You've told him you're gay and that should be that. If he truly cared for you and respects you then he would accept it and appreciate you as a friend, but he doesn't. He's a selfish little sh*t. (Sounds harsh but people like him make me angry.)

    Give him an ultimatum - stop badgering me and accept the fact that it's never gonna happen or I'm cutting you off completely.

    And thanks Yuri. I luuuurve me some Girls Generation, that I do. (!)
     
  10. Beetle

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 15, 2014
    Messages:
    410
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    American in Ontario, Canada
    I agree with what everyone else said. Depending on how close you two are as friends, I would distance yourself from him and let him have time to sort out his feelings and get over his crush on you. It sounds harsh, but I would be super annoyed by that, especially since he thinks pestering you about it more will make you give him a chance with you. You've said what needed to be said, you're a lesbian and that's not changing, so now it's his problem, not yours.
     
  11. YuriBunny

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 10, 2014
    Messages:
    44
    Likes Received:
    7
    Location:
    I'm an introvert; I live in my head.
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Lol, that might seem strange.

    Hm... maybe. If my dad would be willing to talk to him. For some reason my dad hates all my friends.

    I'll try.

    I think he's at least trying to accept it now. His emails haven't been as harsh recently. It seems like he'll eventually be able to get it through his head, but I wonder how long it'll take.

    Sounds a bit harsh for my personality, and I don't want to scare him or anything. He's always been very shy and sensitive, and I also am. I don't want to hurt him more.

    I've made it very clear I'm not going to change my mind and start liking boys, but he doesn't seem to believe me. And yes, the fact that he thinks it's possible I might change is definitely the most annoying part. If he'd just accept that my sexuality will never change, I would barely be bothered at all about his crush on me.
     
  12. Radioactive Bi

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 24, 2014
    Messages:
    1,339
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    UK Midlands
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    You could try this. You could tell him again that there is no way you could like him that way (I know you've made your position clear but keep repeating this to show you won't be budging on the issue) but are willing to be friends with him. Make it clear though, that if he continues to keep going on about it, it will threaten your friendship with him and you would hate to have to stop talking to him because he don't let it go.

    Perhaps the threat of loosing all contact with you will make him stop. If not, then it may be time to let go of him as it's not healthy for you to have someone like that effectively stalking you or for him to be obsessing over someone he can't have. Also, if he can't handle, just being your friend then perhaps it would be best to create some distance.

    Of course, the decision is entirely yours as I don't want to be responsible for damaging friendships, but if he can't accept the truth of the situation, you need to consider where it's all going to end up.

    Hope this helps,

    Happy days
     
  13. YuriBunny

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 10, 2014
    Messages:
    44
    Likes Received:
    7
    Location:
    I'm an introvert; I live in my head.
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Thanks, I'll keep this in mind.
     
  14. JasonZilla

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 16, 2014
    Messages:
    11
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Kansas
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    You know, I know this may be stupid, But, Maybe if you explain it to him this way. Ask him to go find a guy to be intimate with, and try to have feelings for. Like, put it into a context to where he can understand that this is not a choice. It's who you are. If he can put himself in your shoes, maybe it might just hit him that this is how things are. Period. If hes straight, he would not beable to comprehend falling in love with a guy, or being intimate with a guy. Tell him that's how you view him. You can not comprehend it. That is not how we are wired.

    Idk, just my thoughts. Hope it helps!

    Jason :slight_smile:
     
  15. YuriBunny

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 10, 2014
    Messages:
    44
    Likes Received:
    7
    Location:
    I'm an introvert; I live in my head.
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    No, that's not stupid at all. That's actually a pretty good idea.