So I usually crush on fairly feminine, possibly gay guys around my age. These crushes have ranged the past few months, but right now I'm having a big one on a close friend whom I hang out with a lot at school. I noticed he was really cute from the get-go (we've known each other for a little over half a year now) but as we got to know each other more and more I grew closer to him...and feelings developed. He is pretty feminine, and I hoped that he might be gay. However, I know that he has a girlfriend back in his home town (he moved from New England down here over the summer) and he constantly texts her in school. So they seem to still be going strong. Also, I doubt he's bi or anything, just because he hasn't given me any indication to suspect him. He kind of flirts with some of the girls around him (I use flirt lightly, because as I said he still has a girlfriend). Also, while we were getting up for lunch, I held the door for him, saying "ladies first." He replied that "if I were a lady, I'd be a lesbian!" So yeah I kinda doubt that he isn't straight. But the more and more I grow attracted to him, the more and more I realize I NEED to move on. I have no chance with this guy. But this is hard for me. I told two of my closest friends that know I'm gay that I like him, and they won't stop pestering me about it (although, to be fair, I'm fueling a lot of it ). But they keep on saying "oh I totally ship you two" and "he might be bi, you never know." All with good intentions, but it's just making me feel like the situation is even more hopeless. :/ What should I do?
If you're comfortable with him, then maybe you should come out to him. You don't need to spill out your crush on him, but that may get him thinking, and he will likely reciprocate and tell you his own sexuality (which may not be as concrete as in
But...I don't want to get him thinking. He's straight. He's given me no indication for me to even suspect otherwise. The chances that he'd be bi or something are incredibly low, and I don't want to gamble my friendship with him on that. I'm not sure how accepting he would be...so yeah I guess I'm not that comfortable telling him.
Could you really call him a friend if he rejected you because of your sexuality? Right now, you're benefiting from his ignorance (but also suffering by keeping your feelings bottled up). Eventually, it will be better if you were out to more than just those two friends, and sometimes it's good to come out to a straight guy. My post seems to have been unfinished. I think your crush will diminish once you hear from this guy he is straight. Personally, I can't maintain a crush on guys I "know" are straight, and that allows me to be much more comfortable, like I would be with a guy I'm not attracted to. If he's really straight (or even just closeted), he may be distant for a short time, but he should come around if he genuinely cares for you.
Yeah I agree you have to either tell him your gay and judge his reaction or get him to Tell you he is strait. You will continue to crush until you're given a reason not to.
I guess that you should tell him that you're gay, and see if he reacts in a positive manner. This reminds me horribly of my situation, so I do know how it feels like. Here's too all the best ~ ~Viva la silva
I just don't really feel comfortable telling him about me. Despite hanging out with him a lot in school, we aren't very close. He seems to kind of push me away when I try to interact with him outside of school, so I've kind of just given off. I have no idea what his views are on homosexuality, I have no idea if he'll be able to keep it a secret, let alone accept me. And I really don't want him finding out about my crush. That would make things messy. I would not feel comfortable at all with telling him. I just don't think I could do it.
