I met up for a few drinks with a guy I was talking to online for a couple of days. It was my first ever meet and I was nervous. This guy was very excited to meet me, sent me loads of messages etc. We swapped photos etc But as soon as we met, I didn't detect any of that same excitement from him. He seemed a lot quiet in real life, played on his phone a lot, went to the restroom a lot and bumped in his other mates who he invited to hang out with us. Basically I think I just don't look the same in real life as I do in photos and I think he was disappointed in me. I found him nice and cute though. He even give me a big hug before we departed and he said he'd text me the next day but he didn't. So I texted him a day later thanking him for the hang out. He just give a very short abrupt reply saying that he enjoyed meeting me too. Anyway I just thought I'd get that off my chest. It was my first date and I had sort of a good time but it just didn't work out. I had such high hopes and expectations thinking it'd lead to something more...at least a new friend to chill with. But that doesn't seem to be the case :tears: thanks for listening
Some times that spark between people that occurs online/through the phone seems like so much that when the face-to-face meet actually happens it is nowhere to be found. Maybe just chalk it up to online chemistry and no face-to-face chemistry.
Yeah but it doesn't explain why he's being so cold to me now. He just isn't that into me I guess. I feel like asking him because I want to hear it from him. Like should I say "hey I guess you were after something more than a mate to hang out with...sorry to have disappointed u?" Or would sending that make me stupid? Like we live in a small town so are bound to run into each other and sending that message asking the obvious would make it really awkward. thanks! thats a good way to explain it
Hey dont worry about your first date, I was exactly the same, can talk about anything via computer, but in real life your turn to blank, it might turn out hes nevours around new people that hes not use 2, if you go out on a second date, get him talking, ask about his social life etc, he will eventually see ur a good lad and be more open
No, I wouldn't send anything like that. The thing about the internet is that socialization becomes so much easier and smoother than in real like. You have time to think about what you're saying, and conversation becomes much more polished and artificial than it is in real life. He was probably a little nervous, but also it's so much easier to have chemistry when talking via the internet or text. I don't think it's your picture or that you look different in real life, although I guess that's possible (but I wouldn't think that would cause him to be distant necessarily). It's all about the expectations: He was expecting the interaction to go differently and was possibly disappointed, just like you were expecting to make a more lasting connection with him and are also disappointed. I'd just chalk it up to experience and not let it bother you. You're going to meet a lot of people in your lifetime, some of whom you'll consider pursuing a romantic relationship with. Some of them you'll like and have a strong connection with, and some you won't. That's just the nature of the social beast. You shouldn't feel bad about yourself when you end up not "clicking" with someone. Like the saying goes... there's plenty of other fish in the sea. I hope this helps. Good luck!
Well nothing too bad happened, don't worry. You should probably send him a message, but don't apologize for anything (There is no reason for that!) just be casual and ask him what he thinks! If there is no spark, getting a friend or someone you can get on well with is always better. Many times friends introduce you to people that may become your significant other later! Also don't get too paranoid about looks, sometimes when you date people there is no chemistry even if you think that he is handsome. Its just life, think about heterosexual relationships, they meet tons of people "potential partners" and they obviously don't have romantic chemistry with all of them.
hey thanks for that I really appreciate you taking the time to write all that. Yes I better not send him that awkward message. I was only concerned it was my looks even though I sent him 3 clear face pics. I just feel a bit sad now coz I want to be his mate lol. But I'm moving on now. Looking for a another date and hopefully this time it'll work out better ---------- Post added 16th Apr 2014 at 02:26 PM ---------- thanks! but i don't think he's interested to even be my friend now coz he isn't actively talking to me anymore . Maybe i could say "so i guess u were looking for something more than a mate and I'm not ur type? its ok but if u want we cud be mates, i cud do with an extra friend to hang out with sometimes"
IF you message/text him at all, I'd just keep it simple and light. Something like "I'm glad we met, I hope we can become good friends." And just see what he says to that. I'd leave out things like "I guess I'm not your type" or anything that could be interpreted as bitterness, because that's not necessarily how you want to come across to someone you had a "bad" date with but still want to be friends. Just my two cents
