So I had this crush for a year and he's so fracking cute and funny, but I know that he will feel disgusted of me being gay. The root reason I love him is because he was like my friend in track where as before I didn't have someone to talk to during track season. I love him and it's painful and hard. I try to diverge from him but I keep seeing him. I once sent him flowers in valentine anonymously. Anyways, Trevor (aka my conscience/imaginary friend, call me crazy later) doesn't like him because he thinks he immature and harmful (as in trying to hurt me if he know I'm gay) and he doesn't want me to be with him. We are both polar opposites with this guy, I love him and Trevor dislikes him. It's so hard because even I know that it's not going to work out because he's not gay. Any advice please.i just wanted to talk about this. Another thing is I also try to compare myself in trying to be better than him and it's annoying, I also need help in this.
I've seen a couple of these threads from you before regarding straight crushes. Honestly, they're rarely any different than the last one. You know it's not going to work. Hell, you barely know him. Don't say that you love someone without even knowing them. It's natural to be competitive with others, to compare yourself with him and try to be better. Just a Type A personality. If it really bothers you, just focus on being less competitive. When you realize that you're comparing yourself to him, just tell yourself that it's pointless to compare. At the same time - Like I said, it's very natural, and it can even be healthy. I know I've been inspired to work harder in situations after comparing myself to someone else. It can be helpful if you don't let it rule your actions.
