1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Supposedly straight friend sending mixed signs

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Crushingdoubt, Apr 17, 2014.

  1. Crushingdoubt

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 17, 2014
    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    France
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    All but family
    Hey, everyone.
    I'm 25 and I'm a bisexual cis woman and I really need a little bit of advice.
    I have this friend who's supposedly straight but keeps sending me mixed signs about how she feels about me. I have a big big crush on her, which she doesn't know about, but she does know I'm bi.
    We've known each other for a few months now, and we're pretty close, since we study together and have a lot of things in common. I absolutely adore her, because she's so smart, so kind and so sweet!
    So anyway, I've always thought she might feel something about me, because she keeps making me compliments about everything I do; she loves my accent, she says I'm charming and cute and smart, and well, you know. I know this alone means nothing, but I have never seen her treat other people the way she treats me.
    Yesterday, we were at a party together (at a mutual friend's place), and it was just... Strange. First of all, we kept hugging each other all the time, which is not all that unusual, but then she started saying I was tempting her (which I was, or at least trying to). Every silly flirty joke I told was "so cute" to her.
    We were drinking and hugging and then she tells me to confess, because she had something to confess to. I had NO IDEA what she was talking about. I mean, unless she wanted me to confess I had a crush on her. But other than that, I have nothing to confess to her.
    This got me really confused. I asked her what she eas talking about and she was like "come on, stop playing". We were then interrupted by a friend and didn't talk about that anymore.
    As we progressively got drunk, she started kissing my cheek all the time. Or my forehead. And holding my hands. And dancing with me in a really-close-to-sexual-but-not-quite way.
    By that time I was sure she was going to try to kiss me eventually, but that didn't happen.
    Instead, she accompanied me to my place, picking up flowers from people's windows to give me. But nothing happened because there was another friend with us.

    See, I don't know what to think, because besides being supposedly straight, she has a boyfriend. Even though we're really close, I don't know him, she never even told me his name, so I'm not sure if that's true... But then, why would she lie (not just to me, but to all our friends) about it?
    And if she does have a boyfriend, why is she treating me like this and telling me we should go live together in Lyon (I'm moving there in a year, to get my Master's degree)?
    I'm so confused and so frustrated! But I'm really afraid to address this directly with her, or to make a move, because I don't want things between us to get weird. I don't want to lose her as a friend, because she's so amazing and so sweet... She's the first person who feels like home since I moved to France, two years ago.

    I'm sorry if I seem childish, but I'm extremely shy when it comes to love stuff, be it with girls or boys. So I'd like your advice because I don't know how to interpret her actions and I think an outsider's view could be more objective than mine.

    Thanks anyway.
     
  2. LostAndAffraid

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 7, 2014
    Messages:
    323
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    flint
    Well I'd get drink with her again when the two of you are alone and see where things lead. I mean it seems obvious she likes you from what you say, but you know when you are drinking with her let her make the first move. Who knows, if the two of you are alone drinking she may just try to make you "confess"again.
     
  3. resu

    Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2013
    Messages:
    4,968
    Likes Received:
    395
    Location:
    Oklahoma City
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    You don't even have to drink. Just find a way to spend some time alone with her, even at a cafe or for lunch. This should hopefully give you enough time to see if this is more than a friendship. That said, you should also find out if she really does have a boyfriend; you may not want to be the "third wheel" while he is still around.
     
  4. Crushingdoubt

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 17, 2014
    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    France
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    All but family
    Hmmm, I'm not sure. We usually do stuff together while being sober. Like we'll meet for a café, or she'll come over to my place and we'll talk for hours, and nothing unusual ever happens - I'm actually so afraid she'll realize I have a crush on her that I make a point in staying really physically away from her when we're alone together. But when we drink, it's different - that's why I'm really unsure whether it means anything or not...

    And yes, resu, about her boyfriend, I'll really try to find that out. I guess I'm afraid to know, but it's true I can't keep fooling myself. :slight_smile:

    Thanks, guys!