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I'm trying to forgive my family , but i can't

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by rayan, Apr 19, 2014.

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  1. rayan

    rayan Guest

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    Last year when my family found out that i'm gay , they almost forced me to marry a girl.Anyway , i refused and they kicked me out of the house .
    I've had an accident few months ago , i'm still having physical therapy till now .My family knew about 3 weeks ago so they came to visit me and they are acting as if nothing has happened .They only said we are sorry ,so now what ! Are they expecting me to act cool right away !
    I can't forget how they made me leave college and come back to Lebanon ignoring my feeling and forcing me into an arranged marriage or how my brother broke my arm when he through me out .
    They left me just like that , i went back to Jordan to complete my study .Without the scholarship i don't know what could i have done . I managed to have a job to pay the rent and other things . And my friends became my only family .
    So here they are now living just across the street visiting me every day and staying hours talking while the only thing that i do is either listening or sleeping . I don't know what should i do ! Should i try forgetting and get along with them ,or should i try talking to them about how i feel !
     
    #1 rayan, Apr 19, 2014
  2. PatrickUK

    PatrickUK
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    When they said sorry, did you feel as though they were being sincere or just trying to ease their conscience? If it was a sincere apology then you could try talking to them about how you feel.

    It was interesting that you said your friends became your only family. There's a great saying... you can choose your friends, but you can't choose your relatives. Sometimes, friends do become more of a family and I'm pleased you've got them to lean on. Hang on to these people.

    Have you completed all of your studies now? Do you have any long term plans that you can tell us about?
     
    #2 PatrickUK, Apr 19, 2014
  3. rayan

    rayan Guest

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    I think they just said that , i didn't feel they really meant it or what so ever . I still feel their eyes keep judging me and my friends , we are only close friends and no one is special but i can see how they judge us when they come to check on me.Plus they act with more kindness when my female friends visit me .
    They have never asked how i managed myself in the past year till now nor asked if there's some one in my life .
    What i'm trying to say is that i don't feel that they have accepted me for who i am yet .

    I'm studying general medicine , i was supposed to graduate next year but now after the accident i have to repeat the 5th year again as i have missed a lot of the clinical rounds and lectures while i was in coma .I guess it was for my best to concentrate on my therapy .... I'm doing great now , but i still need a few sessions :slight_smile:
     
    #3 rayan, Apr 19, 2014
  4. PatrickUK

    PatrickUK
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    When you've finished your studies will that open up opportunities for you to build the sort of life you want, rather than your family wants? General medicine sounds like that sort of career path.

    I think you did well to resist your families pressure to marry - hang in there and hopefully things will improve. :slight_smile:
     
    #4 PatrickUK, Apr 19, 2014
  5. rayan

    rayan Guest

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    I hope so , deep inside i want to get back my relationship with my family but unless they accepted me i won't be able to build anything with them . I'm planing to live my life the way i want, it's not easy to do that in the middle east that's why i'm planing to complete my higher studies in USA , plus it would be a great opportunity to get to know my biological dad :slight_smile:
     
    #5 rayan, Apr 19, 2014
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