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Tempted to just stay single forever

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by aspie musician, Apr 19, 2014.

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  1. aspie musician

    aspie musician Guest

    Love/hate relationship with being gay.
    One day I feel fine about it.The next I hate it.
    Tempted to just make the decision to stay single forever.In relationships people want sex eventually and I have absolutely NO desire to go all the way.Maybe its best if I avoid hurting others and myself and just stick to being alone.
     
    #1 aspie musician, Apr 19, 2014
  2. WhiteShadows

    WhiteShadows
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    There are lots of people who want a relationship without sex. Also, relationships don't have to be something you actively seek out. Sometimes they just happen.... whether you've sworn never to have one or not.
     
    #2 WhiteShadows, Apr 19, 2014
  3. ilovemylife

    ilovemylife
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    I feel ya. Sometimes I feel like finding a relationship is a slim chance. Some days, I feel like my chances are high, but other days I feel like I will be alone forever.

    But WhiteShadows is right. Relationships just happen. Trying to actively seek someone to date will probably end with you caring more than they do and you getting hurt. So what I've done is stop looking for a special someone, and just enjoyed being single. When that person comes around, I'll take my chance. But, until then, I will continue to live life for myself. You'll find someone perfect for you. You know what they say: "You can only find happiness once you've stopped looking for it"
     
    #3 ilovemylife, Apr 19, 2014
  4. aspie musician

    aspie musician Guest

    I dont seek relationships out in any way.I just dont know if I am relationship material...On the one hand I want someone so badly.On the other I would rather just stay single.I suppose I should just let whatever happens,happen.

    Its not that I dont want sex(if I did not then I can just as well go for a girl.I often fall in love with girls more than guys but the sex wont work out really)...

    So unless I find a guy who is happy with just handjobs and oral(maybe that happens I would not know)then I will happily date them.Thing is,life does not always work out that way.So basically I dont know if I should just prepare myself for staying single(I dont have too much of a problem with it for the time being).But I am human and get my lonely moments so part of me wants to hope that eventually I find someone.

    I do not actively seek out and will not just go for anyone.

    I suppose it is a bit silly to just decide to stay single without knowing what the future holds though...so will see what happens.
     
    #4 aspie musician, Apr 19, 2014
  5. thrnvlpidj

    thrnvlpidj
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    Preparing yourself for staying single will also make you a better potential partner.
     
    #5 thrnvlpidj, Apr 19, 2014
  6. Gates

    Gates Guest

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    Sometimes I feel like I'll never meet "Mrs. Right" so, why bother? I really want kids; I could do the single dad thing... I guess...:frowning2:
     
    #6 Gates, Apr 20, 2014
  7. Calix

    Calix
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    It's my understanding that a there are plenty of gay guys who aren't interested in going further than handjobs/oral, so I wouldn't sell your chances short just yet :slight_smile:
     
    #7 Calix, Apr 20, 2014
  8. MfromA

    MfromA
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    There are statistics that sort of back this up:
    New study finds gay and bisexual men have varied sexual repertoires

    I've seen other stories that report similar data but I can't locate them right now. The point is you're not alone.
     
    #8 MfromA, Apr 20, 2014
  9. AKTodd

    AKTodd
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    Based on what I've seen on EC, around 25-30 percent of gay guys (myself included) aren't into anal to varying degrees (ranging from only feeling like it once in a while to intensely disliking it). When I was single, I never noticed any particular pressure to do anal, except in one relationship, and my partner of the last 17yrs isn't into it either.

    The upshot of this is that it needn't be that big of a deal unless you allow it to become one.

    Todd
     
    #9 AKTodd, Apr 20, 2014
  10. JessRae

    JessRae
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    I feel you! (*hug*) though I tried to still hope for the better soon, still those thoughts will come across me and maybe it's better if you just be alone in that way no one will get hurt even yourself.
     
    #10 JessRae, Apr 20, 2014
  11. aspie musician

    aspie musician Guest

    Mmm...I think the best thing is if I do not think too much hehe. As long as I am myself and honest about it (in the end I am not about to force myself into something I really do not want to do) then maybe I find someone and maybe I do not.Who knows?
     
    #11 aspie musician, Apr 20, 2014
  12. aspie musician

    aspie musician Guest

    I will try and remain open to the idea.I suppose I have to make a compromise at some stage and maybe the idea of going all the way will come more naturally once I am with someone I really care about.
     
    #12 aspie musician, Apr 21, 2014
  13. WhiteShadows

    WhiteShadows
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    Yes.
    I definitely had no intention of doing anything sexual until I fell for this one guy.... it happens
     
    #13 WhiteShadows, Apr 21, 2014
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