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I cant express myself to them- Bilingual-Communication Problems

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by IwillBeStrong, Apr 21, 2014.

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  1. IwillBeStrong

    IwillBeStrong
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    Hi there :slight_smile:
    So this post is gonna be about how I struggle to communicate with my parents. I've been raised up bilingual and at home we were only allowed to speak my parents mother tongue. I never had any problems with that because I thought it was cool to speak 2 languages but now I see how difficult it gets for me to actually express my concerns,feelings or anything at all in "their" language as we've always just used "their" language to make simple everyday conversations.

    I want to come out to my parents once but Im really afraid of how to tell them about it in german which is kinda "my" mother tongue. We've almost never spoken germat with each other at home and it would be so weird to do so. Though they can actuallly understand and speak german very well they are not used to speaking german to me and its much easier for them to understand everythig in their language.

    This is so annoying and makes me kinda sad because I cant really talk to my parents the way I talk to my friends as there is a major lack of useful vocabulary which I would need to fully express myself
    What should I do? :\ I cant just start talking german with them all of a sudden after soooo many years ,can I?
     
    #1 IwillBeStrong, Apr 21, 2014
  2. CharlsOn

    CharlsOn Guest

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    As first step you could ask them or talk with them about using german. Maybe you can make a deal or something like that. It must be possible to sort out the problem in a way that suits you all.:slight_smile:
    Btw I think it's really cool growing up bilingual. What's your second language apart from austrian?:wink:
     
    #2 CharlsOn, Apr 21, 2014
  3. IwillBeStrong

    IwillBeStrong
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    Yeah I thought about that but it's gonna be pretty weird and hard as this never was an "issue" at all for any of us and I dont know what they're going to think about it but I feel its necesarry to talk with them about this! Defintely!
     
    #3 IwillBeStrong, Apr 21, 2014
  4. CharlsOn

    CharlsOn Guest

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    Yea, it is. But they're your parents and they have to try to understand this problem you have. I hope:slight_smile:
    So good luck!!!:grin:
     
    #4 CharlsOn, Apr 21, 2014
  5. Opheliac

    Opheliac
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    I grew up speaking a sort of mixture of three languages, using words from all three in the same sentence sometimes. Do you ever speak like that? Borrowing words from other languages when you feel there isn't a word to express something in the language you originally started speaking in? That might help, but it can get confusing if you aren't used to it, I guess.

    You could also consider coming out later. Start talking to them in German at home just randomly, so that it doesn't seem as awkward when you do come out.
     
    #5 Opheliac, Apr 21, 2014
  6. IwillBeStrong

    IwillBeStrong
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    I can totally relate! Though my sentences end up sounding pretty weird than it actually sounded in my head. So thats not a good thing x)
    Yes i will definitely only come out later in life .. probably I should start talking german from now on .. they already think im kinda weird so this shouldnt matter? :grin:
     
    #6 IwillBeStrong, Apr 21, 2014
  7. CharlsOn

    CharlsOn Guest

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    Your parents think your weird? Why?
    Funny. Mine do sometimes think I'm a bit of retarted and repeating things 3 times.
    That's annoying but funny when I imitate being so:grin:
     
    #7 CharlsOn, Apr 21, 2014
  8. IwillBeStrong

    IwillBeStrong
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    Well, not in a "mean" way. Its just because Im very shy and never really talk a lot and it has kinda do a lot with my past and my sexuality too. And I'm always in my "own world" but there are reasons for that and ja .. I dont care about that. Its who I'm :slight_smile:
     
    #8 IwillBeStrong, Apr 21, 2014
  9. BelleFromHell

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    As a linguist in training, I'm terribly jealous of you for growing up bilingual! :astonished:

    I recommend Opheliac said, you should start speaking German for a while before you come out. I'll be a lot less awkward once you do.

    Do you know your parents' views on homosexuality?
     
    #9 BelleFromHell, Apr 21, 2014
    Last edited: Apr 21, 2014
  10. IwillBeStrong

    IwillBeStrong
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    Haha:slight_smile: Well it has its positive and negative effects I'd say.

    Yeah, I will try. I have to, dont I?
    Haha, well I hope I'll have that courage one day to actually come out :frowning2:

    What my parents' views are on homosexuality? Oh gosh. Well, they are indian and I'm proud to say that they think a tiny little bit out of the box in contrary to other indians. We've never mentioned that topic in our family but the son of my neighbour is gay and once my mom and some other neighbours were talking about him and I heard my mom say that "they" are born like that and that "they" can't do anything against being like they are. I really didn't know how I should feel about that but I was kinda happy that she wasn't judging him. However, you know its easier to say this if its not your child who's gay:/
     
    #10 IwillBeStrong, Apr 21, 2014
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