Hey, I'm new on here and just wanted some friendly advice. I'm a 17 year old girl and I have been out for a couple of years since getting together with my current girlfriend. All of my friends and my older sister were great and really supportive and I had no problems there, but I didn't tell my mum for a while because I knew her opinions on homosexuality (I.e. She wasn't very understanding of it). When i told her it was a bit difficult for a while because i knew she wasn't happy with it and i felt a bit uncomfortable, and she used to make comments whenever she saw me and my gf hold hands or kiss or whatever. Now that it's been so long i think she has come around to the idea and i can tell her views have changed, and she acts fine towards me and my gf at home, but she still won't admit it to anybody else and not even the rest of my family and doesn't like it if i hold hands or act too openly about it in public, so I'm constantly worrying about her getting angry at me about it. Also, it may be partially due to how i have been brought up and made to think that being gay isn't right, but i have had a hard time accepting it myself; it's not that I'm not comfortable with my sexuality or proud of it, it's more that i am scared of other people's opinions and am afraid to display it in public because of what people might say or think. It causes arguments between me and my gf because she doesn't understand why i am self-conscious or scared to hold her hand in public and she thinks I am ashamed of it. Are these kinds of feelings normal when you first come out? I dont know why I find it so hard. Thanks
It sounds normal, and your mom isn't helping the situation by being uncomfortable with relatively tame "PDA". Then again, you should pay more concern for your girlfriend than your mom. You're going to be an adult now, making your own decisions, and your relationships will be unhealthy if you're always looking behind your back and self-conscious.
