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Are my friend trying to tell me something?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Wilzyax, Apr 21, 2014.

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  1. Wilzyax

    Wilzyax
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    Hi
    The other day, this really close friend of me was over at my house. We had been using the outside pool, so we both needed to take a shower afterwards. When he went to the bathroom for a shower, he told me; "If you were a girl I would have invited you to shower with me", and he didn't laugh it off as a joke, only staring deep into my eyes before he went silent to my bathroom.
    So does my friend try to say he would be in love with me if I wasn't a boy?
    We are both guys, and we are very touchy with each other, but he is also very homophobic.
    And why did my friend tell me this?
    He is very deffensive if someone asks if he's gay, and become all "Hell no, I would never turn gay". But the funny thing is that we sometimes get "flirtous" around each other.
    So what do you guys think?
     
    #1 Wilzyax, Apr 21, 2014
  2. resu

    resu
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    Are you out to him? It sounds like that would be a good first step. That way he would have to confront his homophobia head-on, realizing that one of his closest friends is part of the group he despises. He may become distant, but he should come around if he really values your friendship.

    While what he says doesn't mean for sure he's gay/bi, it is often the case that the guys who are most homophobic are the ones most insecure about their masculinity (and may be gay/bi).
     
    #2 resu, Apr 21, 2014
  3. TJ

    TJ
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    It sounds like he is at least curious, and if he's touchy-feely, I bet there's something he's not telling you.
    Because he gets defensive when you mention his sexuality to him, I wouldn't bring it up anymore. Just carry on as normal like you both normally would, but be supportive of him if he ever needs you to be.
    As you get older, he might be more comfortable talking about his sexuality.

    Also, I agree with Resu - You should come out to him.
     
    #3 TJ, Apr 21, 2014
  4. PatrickUK

    PatrickUK
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    There's a lot of truth of in the saying: "Those who shout loudest have the most to hide".

    When I was at school there was another guy who was obsessed with the fact that I was gay (as a matter of fact, I hadn't actually come out at that point) and he would say all sorts of homophobic shit to try to wind me up. He also made a point of changing next to me or near me during sports lessons, even though we had no time for each other. Guess what? He was gay himself and came out after leaving school.

    Does your friend know about you, or how you feel about sexuality?
     
    #4 PatrickUK, Apr 21, 2014
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