So, I finally found a way to tell my crush I like him in which I'm (somewhat) comfortable in. I'll be coming to his place for a class project this weekend. The problem is, it's in teams of four, so the other teammates will come, too. I figured I could get him alone by getting there first or something and then I would just blurt it out like this: ''Say, I've been wondering, do you like me?'' I don't know if this is the best setting for saying it though since we're essentially there to work, but I don't know if I could get a better chance. I'm just so afraid of rejection, even if my mind tells me it's unlikely, but at the same time, I'm afraid that he'll think I'm not interested if I don't act soon. He did show hints that he likes me, though: -He glances at me every time he tells a joke in our friend group -He frequently makes allusion to gay stuff and glances at me while doing it -He chooses me often as a teammate for school work -He'll try to get my opinion on stuff -He'll bring other's attention to what I say -He'll generally think everything I do is cool, even if it's the lamest thing in the world -I caught him glancing at me while I walk in the hallways -He refused to clearly say he's straight -While the teacher teased him about relationships, he glanced at me quickly Even with all this, I'm mostly afraid that he'll be too afraid to come out. If this happens, I would say I'm okay with having a closet relationship for now because, well, school finished in two months (though it would become a long distance relationship after that because of college:dry I sound so paranoid writing this, but my first heartbreak was so terrible and I told no one about it, so I really don't want it to happen again.
There are worse ways to do things I suppose... Realistically the method doesn't matter. How you do it probably isn't going to make much difference unless you're being weird about it and carve it into a cliff-side or something. Thing is you are getting waaay emotionally invested in this, and not in a good way. I'm sitting here reading this and thinking that you've basically set this up to be all or nothing. Either he likes you or the world is over. That's not healthy. Don't pin all your hopes on one perfect outcome when there could be a billion different ones that are similar but not quite right. I know it'll suck if you don't get what you want out of it but you can't sit there and tell yourself that if you don't it will be such a terrible heartbreak. Let what happens happen. There is no point setting yourself up for pain now.
Make sure you allow yourself to know all the options here. As said above, "either he likes you or the world is over. That's not healthy," and it's not. He sounds like he is comfortable around you and feels like he can trust you, so don't jump in at the deep end and question him about his feelings for you. There are loads of different responses he could have, the time just might not be right. He may be sat there thinking of a way to tell you too, you never know. Just let time run its course, but if you want to tell him don't do it when you have a restricted amount of time together, if you blurt it out and then the rest of your group turn up on the doorstep you'll be left feeling awkward and unsure what to say next. Steer a conversation in the direction of relationships/all that kind of stuff when it's just you both and you're both relaxed, and try slip something in about having feelings for him. You don't need to be reading him a love poem and getting down on one knee just yet! Good luck
Agreed. The whole "all or nothing" is a normal feeling, but also a very scary (and unhealthy) way, so maybe just let him know that you're there to talk, if he ever wants to talk about anything, and maybe that'll prompt him to come out to you. You don't want to scare him away by asking him so straight forwardly, when he's not even comfortable to talk about the idea of not being straight yet, you know? Plus, you'll have that compassionate, there-to-listen-friendship with him, and that's a plus
Yeah, I know it's not that healthy to think like that, but I can't help it. Anyway, I can't see how this crush can be negative, seeing as it motivated me to work out, find clothes I like to look better and even auditioning for a school show he was in (and I got taken! I probably wouldn't have auditioned if it wasn't for him!). Before I got a crush on him, I was depressed and dysphoric, so I can't help but think I'm better to crush on him than to possibly be rejected. I figured it would not be the best to tell him there after all because, well, he's stuck with me for the day, even if it goes wrong. I just never manage to get him alone... I guess I'll just have to wait and get him to talk to me more.
