So, basically, I've screwed up a lot. My parents no longer trust me, because I talked to my best friend, until recently, even after they'd told me to stop talking to him or else get kicked out. All because I only know him online, and because he's trans* and they're convinced that he's a huge, bad influence on me. So they told me a few days ago, again, that they want me to stop talking to him. My friend and I, on the other hand, had a long conversation after that, about how I should do what makes me happy, instead of just doing what my parents want. Even when it comes to my own gender issues. But because of my parents' conversation, which made me feel *terrible*, I felt like I had no choice but to cut him off after that. Then of course, I realised that I was just doing what my parents manipulated me into doing, and so I tried to apologise to my friend, to which he never replied. So I think he's mad at me, but I suck at figuring out what other people are thinking, so I'm not entirely sure. And I'm wondering if there's any way to make this work, to keep my friend, who happens to be the one who's supported me through depression and the gender issues so far, and also appease my parents. And somehow make myself happy, too. Anyway, it feels like a mess, and I figured I'd ask a neutral third party. What's the best thing to do in this situation, or have I just screwed things up too much with everyone?
You can appease your parents by not telling them. You can appease your friend by recognizing he has made a perfectly valid point. You can appease yourself by realising that even if your friend WAS trying to influence you, you have no evidence of it. Your parents on the other hand and even trying to hide it!
I'm not really sure what you should do here but at least know that your parents are completely in the wrong here. Even if your best friend was a bad influence, they're not trying to help by talking to you about it or why you're struggling with your gender. Don't stop talking to your best friend either. He's the one supporting and helping you, not your parents. Do what makes YOU happy!
To be fair to my parents, they don't know that I have gender issues. I doubt that I'll ever come out to them about it. And I shut them out a lot, because of the way they view the world vs. the experience I've gained through the depression and gender struggle. I do know that they just want what's best for me, though. I was depressed and suicidal for a long time, and in their minds, that's my best friend's fault. That being said, I do think you're both right, and cutting my best friend off wasn't a smart idea. *goes to apologise to him again* Thanks for the advice.
