Hi Everyone, I'm hoping that you guys can give me some general relationship starting advice. Just some notes, I'm a 32 year old, gay male and I ended a long-term relationship (8 years) about six months ago. About a month ago now, I attended a birthday party for a good friend in Chicago, I live on the East coast, so I had to fly in. While there, I met a guy that I had only been acquainted with through some other friends. I've always thought he was cute, but I had never interacted with him, and didn't know much more than his name and face. On my last night there, he and I got the chance to talk (in a group, not really one on one) and at other times during the night I caught him taking long looks. I was immediately crushing on him, but I tried to temper that down. When I was about to leave the party, and the city, he came up to me and gave me a big hug and said next time I see you let's have a long conversation. The next day, I went to the airport and my flight was delayed. I decided to check Facebook on my phone and lo and behold he had already added me on FB. So, of course, at this point I'm all a'flutter. I accepted his friend request then, and the next evening I sent him a message telling him how great it was to finally meet him etc. We went back and forth a couple of times and that was over. I'm smitten by this point. I held off sending any more messages, but did add him on another site that he and I frequent. Then last Tuesday/Wednesday I sent another message in response to a TV show that he had posted about on a mutual friend's FB wall about that I also like. We went back and forth again about TV shows and movies. Long story short. How do I get to know this guy better through Facebook? He's truly an introvert so he doesn't post much there, so I can't just keep stalking him through his comments. But, knowing as many introverts as I do, I have doubts that he will initiate (I've been down that road!) We will see each other again in early June, so I hope we can have that long conversation, but I don't want another month to pass without doing something. I'm just worried I'm going to scare him off by being too forceful and FB is so impersonal. Since I added him on the other site, he accepted my follow and I've seen him post maybe one or two things in the last month. So that site won't really be helpful. I just don't know what to do, my last serious boyfriend started at a distance, but he was so much more outgoing so it was easy to chat with him routinely. I don't expect this to become anything overnight, and I may have totally over-read his signals, but I don't want to just disappear and get friend-zoned by default. Any thoughts? Feel free to ask questions for clarity.
It seems the main goal is to remind him of your interest. You could do this by sharing some random thing that reminded you of him, like maybe something related to a TV show or movie you discussed (or something new you want to recommend he watch). Have you thought about using Skype? I don't think he would have been so quick to send you a FB request and talk with you had he not liked you. Introverts won't do that to random people. Actually, he might be following your posts closely to get a better idea on what you're thinking. So, you could post something that could have a double entendre, like a romantic song.
Yeah, I've been more active on Facebook just for that very reason. I'm just on the Introvert side of the scale, and most of my friends are introverts--I know how they work. But, I'm starting to feel like he's not taking the bites and without the face to face stuff it's hard for me to know how to proceed. If I over share, I think I'll mess it up and make it awkward, if I undershare, he's not going to notice me.
