1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Ow, hate is a b**ch

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Sam2, Apr 25, 2014.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
Thread Tools

Thread Tools

Page 1 of 2
  1. Sam2

    Sam2
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2014
    Messages:
    132
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    colorado
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Family only
    So i got back to school two days ago, after getting into a fight, and being suspended. Today I was walking through the halls when a "friend" walks up to me and asks if i want to go smoke (Of course i did so we left). as we were walking to the smoking spot, he gets serious.

    "So dude i have to ask. cuz the way your acting i just can't tell anymore. Are you gay?"
    Not really knowing how to respond i just lit up my cig and said "yes sir"
    No warning what so ever, he swung at me and hit my right eye. I was too shocked to even know how to respond so i just yelled "WTF!?!?!?!" he swung again, this time i caught his fist, but i didn't want to fight, for gods sake i just got back. so i pushed him away, he punched me one more time in the jaw this time, and i went down. As he walked away he said "don't worry i won't tell anyone you fucking faggot"
    So now I'm sitting here drinking whiskey, with a broken face, wondering what the hell happened. exactly what made that go so wrong? call me crazy but I don't think i did anything to deserve that. I've been in fights, but I've never had someone I thought was my friend change so quickly. So of course I'm depressed but its hard to feel anything right now. I'm stuck between rage, and self pity. this really sucks, and right after such a good reaction from my other two friends.
    just have to keep telling myself, 1 day at a time... 1 day at a time:tears:
     
    #1 Sam2, Apr 25, 2014
  2. resu

    resu
    Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2013
    Messages:
    4,968
    Likes Received:
    395
    Location:
    Oklahoma City
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    How old are you?

    You definitely didn't deserve getting punched, and I think you should report this guy. This is basically a hate crime, worse than a fight. If it's any consolation, at least you know how he feels and can move on.
     
    #2 resu, Apr 26, 2014
  3. all paths

    all paths
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2014
    Messages:
    439
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    USA, Washington state
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    :icon_sad:

    *hug*

    I'm so sorry.

    That's really awful. And I completely understand that rage & self pity see-saw. :/

    I agree that reporting his ass to the police is both the right thing to do, and the best cure for your rage.
     
    #3 all paths, Apr 26, 2014
  4. Sotv

    Sotv
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2014
    Messages:
    210
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Birmingham
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Wow I've never had anything a fraction as bad as this, that's a horrible experience to have :/ do your parents know? Or anyone else you can talk to?
     
    #4 Sotv, Apr 26, 2014
  5. Sam2

    Sam2
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2014
    Messages:
    132
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    colorado
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Family only
    I'm 18, (Probably shouldn't be drinking, but i don't want to get into that) I don't really want to report him. I don't care to much for police. I want to get him back, but at the same time i know it's smarter to do.. well almost anything else from reporting him, to just trying to make my own peace with this crap. But he caught me off guard and i really don't like that.
    A few people know, no one knows why though. I don't feel like telling anyone else for a minute.
    resu, haha I haven't thought of it like that. I suppose i did get that out of the way hahaha, kind of a funny way to look at it i suppose :slight_smile:
     
    #5 Sam2, Apr 26, 2014
  6. Notsoshure

    Notsoshure
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 15, 2014
    Messages:
    64
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Norway
    What a horrible world we live in. Makes me upset to see this, one of your "friends" changes like this so quick because of your sexuality. I can`t understand really why people do stuff like this. For gods sake it is just someones sexuality, they are completely normal! Why should that even be a problem?

    You didn`t even do anything wrong, It hurts to read that this happened to you. It also sucks that people are in the closet, because people can`t accept they like people of the same gender. I`m really sorry to hear about what happened o you, and i hope you are ok :/
     
    #6 Notsoshure, Apr 26, 2014
  7. Opheliac

    Opheliac
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 1, 2014
    Messages:
    898
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    The Eastern Ind.
    Gender:
    Other
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    All but family
    Getting him back is probably going to land you in even more trouble, honestly :/ I think you should report him. He'll get what he deserves. And remember you had a good reaction from two other friends. People are different. I'd say report him and move on.

    Going through something like this is horrible (*hug*)
     
    #7 Opheliac, Apr 26, 2014
  8. Sam2

    Sam2
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2014
    Messages:
    132
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    colorado
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Family only
    I don't know, reporting him means i have to explain why i reported him. No one i know would hang out with a snitch unless there was a real reason (Which there was but no one else knows) so I'm kinda stuck at the moment.

    Oh yea and this was off school grounds so i didn't get in trouble for it and neither did he.
     
    #8 Sam2, Apr 26, 2014
  9. Trentacles

    Trentacles
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 14, 2014
    Messages:
    220
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    England
    I would personally just let things play out. If he's a threat in the future then report him
     
    #9 Trentacles, Apr 26, 2014
  10. all paths

    all paths
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2014
    Messages:
    439
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    USA, Washington state
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Well, I wouldn't let it pass without reporting him. Jerks like that can't be allowed to just get away with sh#t like that - or they think they can any time, to anyONE. No one's going to teach him how to be a grown-up who can't go around just clocking people he doesn't like, if he's let off.

    I wouldn't think like that...in terms of "snitchery." I think of it as community responsibility and a public service.

    Sam2, if that had been your little sister that he'd abused, what would you think would be the appropriate action? -See what I mean?

    When people stand up and report crimes based on hate like that, it protects *all* of us. And takes us that much closer to a safer world.

    (And if you have the bruised face and can take a picture and/or get a Dr.'s exam to prove it, I'd report sooner than later, before those injuries fade.)
     
    #10 all paths, Apr 26, 2014
  11. Sam2

    Sam2
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2014
    Messages:
    132
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    colorado
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Family only
    Well while i don't have a little sister, i do have a little cousin. and if someone decked her the way they did me? well I'd have wasted no time, I'd probably go find him, and beat him till he pissed blood. Although she is significantly younger than me, so I would do it if it was someone my age who hurt her. if it was someone her age I'd probably just tell her parents.

    I 'm gonna go see a Dr. to make sure nothing is seriously hurt. So I'll have some evidence.
     
    #11 Sam2, Apr 26, 2014
  12. all paths

    all paths
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2014
    Messages:
    439
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    USA, Washington state
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    :kiss:

    :thumbsup:

    *way proud*
     
    #12 all paths, Apr 26, 2014
  13. Robert

    Robert Guest

    Joined:
    Jun 7, 2011
    Messages:
    1,398
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    .
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Next time dont hesitate when you're being attacked. You got beaten up this time but next time you wont be. I know how brutal school can be. If it was me, I would find this motherfucker and beat the shit out of him until he is begging you to stop.
     
    #13 Robert, Apr 26, 2014
  14. all paths

    all paths
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2014
    Messages:
    439
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    USA, Washington state
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    And then have our friend here get killed & strung up on a fencepost by the thug and a gang of his buddies?

    No, man. That is NOT the way.

    Violence begets violence.
     
    #14 all paths, Apr 26, 2014
  15. resu

    resu
    Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2013
    Messages:
    4,968
    Likes Received:
    395
    Location:
    Oklahoma City
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Do you really want to hang out with people who hate snitches? They are more likely to share this jerk's homophobic attitude, so it wouldn't seem like much love lost to report him. I agree that if you let him get away, he is going to continue being an even worse bigot.
     
    #15 resu, Apr 26, 2014
  16. Sam2

    Sam2
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2014
    Messages:
    132
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    colorado
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Family only
    Yes i do want to keep most of my friends. I've had a lot of bad experiences with cops but no life of crime(the worst thing i do is smoke weed but i've never stolen and most fights I'm in are self defense). somethings wrong there. plus it's not like they beat snitches or anything, but you get seen as a pussy if you call the cops over a fight, although not in every case, it really depends on what happened.
    Many of my friends have gay friends, friends who don't like cops either. re-reading my post, saying the word "snitch" made me sound like a thug haha but I'm not. My friends aren't thugs either... stoners, but not thugs. As i said many have gay friends and could care less about that. Some others are a different story.
    And this guy wouldn't kill me, well i don't think he would, either way I'm not gonna go starting anything. Just gotta be prepared if he does anything, and avoid any alcohol till i calm down and make peace with this.

    ---------- Post added 27th Apr 2014 at 01:01 AM ----------

    @Robert, yes fighting back i believe is important in the moment. But it's been a day now. it would be one thing if i had fought back when he hit me, but to go find him, and just start swinging on him, is exactly what i hate. I don't mind losing a fight, I do mind being blind sided. And i know for a fact he would feel the same way, so for me to come back a day later would only give him incentive to strike back, keeping the fighting going till someone got seriously hurt. Not a good idea and not worth it.
    Of course i want to go whoop his ass, but I'm not going to haha.
     
    #16 Sam2, Apr 26, 2014
  17. Chip

    Chip
    Board Member Admin Team Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    May 9, 2008
    Messages:
    16,560
    Likes Received:
    4,757
    Location:
    northern CA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    First, I'm really sorry to hear of the experience you had. Coming completely unexpected, it must have been really upsetting, humiliating, not to mention the physical pain that came from it.

    However, as far as "getting even" or even swinging back in a similar situation... as Gandhi once said "An eye for an eye and pretty soon the whole world is blind."

    Violence is never the answer.

    Keep in mind that if he did this to you, he'll probably do it to anyone else who he perceives to be gay. So if you want to actually solve the problem, I would involve the school (and let them determine whether or not to involve the police.) Nearly all schools have a zero tolerance policy for violence, and many have a zero tolerance policy for bullying, which is what this amounts to.

    Reporting him, assuming the school does its job, will ensure that he faces consequences more than just having someone hit him back, and that might go a long way toward at least encouraging him to behave better.

    Also, keep in mind there's a very good possibility, at least according to some of the studies done, that he, himself, is a closeted poofter. In the studies I read (very clever studies that identified sexual orientation first based on an innocent-looking test that examined eye movement), those who expressed violent dislike for homosexuals were something like 70% more likely to show signs of being gay.

    Doesn't make it any better for you, but at least if you can think of it like that, it perhaps allows a tiny bit of compassion for him, and maybe by talking to your school, he'll have the opportunity to get some help, either in the form of anger management or counseling, which might start him on the path of self-exploration.
     
    #17 Chip, Apr 27, 2014
  18. Sam2

    Sam2
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2014
    Messages:
    132
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    colorado
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Family only
    Well i could care less if he is gay or not. That's his issue, but I went to the dr today. and my eye is all fucked up, the socket or whatever u call it had a hair line fracture on the rim(which explains why drinking didn't make the pain go away). When the doc said that i kind of laughed in disbelief, "how could he break a bone just by punching me?"

    The Dr. said "Looks to me like he used brass knuckles, there are the distinct 4 areas of inflammation."

    Brass knuckles? You kidding me? piece of shit was prepped for me saying yes and trying to do a lot of damage.I don't remember seeing it but i do remember instantly becoming disoriented and i don't think he could crack my eye socket rim with just a fist........ so yea i pressed charges. cops had to examine my eye and they also said it looked like brass knuckles. Gotta say I'm still very angry about this.... and damn how about that for a first time coming out in person to someone?
     
    #18 Sam2, Apr 27, 2014
  19. all paths

    all paths
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2014
    Messages:
    439
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    USA, Washington state
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Wow.

    That was a full-on hate crime then, right there!! Just wow.

    I am SO, SO glad you went to the doc and police and pressed charges!

    You've totally just saved the next person out there from this loser. He's gonna think looooong and hard before he thinks of doing :***: like that again.

    Are you feeling any better (physically, besides psychologically) Sam? What did the doc say about your eye? No permanent damage, I hope??

    Is it still hurting? :/
     
    #19 all paths, Apr 27, 2014
  20. Sam2

    Sam2
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2014
    Messages:
    132
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    colorado
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Family only
    It's infected so i have to go back to go under and have him fix it. Right now i don't feel much physical pain i got a bunch of percocets..... That right there may cause long term damage though.

    I have a history with opiates and I don't like that I have to take them, but it does hurt really bad.. like reeeaaally bad. And it's only gonna hurt more after I go back. Kid totally screwed me over, in so many different ways.

    ---------- Post added 27th Apr 2014 at 11:46 PM ----------

    when the cop asked why he hit me, and i said it was cuz i was gay. The cop just said "We'll see how much he likes gay people, when he's in maximum security prison showers" lololololol you know i gotta say that makes me trust cops a little bit more haha and it was pretty funny to hear a cop say that.
     
    #20 Sam2, Apr 27, 2014
Page 1 of 2
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.