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I don't know what to do.

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by grizzleybear33, Apr 26, 2014.

  1. grizzleybear33

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    So I've been drinking tonight and I am pretty sure I came out to all of my "friends" and two of them hate gay people. I am supposed to live with one of them next year. What do I do. I'm scared.
     
  2. PatrickUK

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    Personally, I would do nothing and say nothing. If you came out, they may regard it as a moment of madness while you were drunk. Can you remember at what time during the night you might have said it? If you really did come out and some of your "friends" hate gay people I'd be surprised if they'd just let it lie and carry on drinking without saying anything immediately. Don't you?

    Just think about what you will say if the subject is mentioned over the next few days/weeks (you don't want to deny it as that will be a very negative step backwards, but you don't want it to be a big deal either). Better to focus your mind on how you will respond, rather than worrying about the "what if's".
     
  3. grizzleybear33

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    I was the only one in the room drunk. I was drinking with two of my friends and I jist stopped by my other friends room where there were about 5 of my other friends. I really have no idea how but we started arguing about gay marriage. It was pretty much me yelling at one of my friends who I can't tell if he actually doesn't like gay people or he jist argues for the sake of arguing an then another one of my "friends" who actually is a major homophobe chiming in sometimes. I don't think I actually came out and said 'I'm gay' but I think I might as well. After I left that room I went back to my drinking buddies and I just started talking cuz I was pretty upset and one of my friends just stormed into the other room and started just going off on them for disliking gays. I haven't gotten much sleep because i have just been thinking but I don't know how much good denying it would do. I don't now though.
     
  4. Cass

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    I came out to one of my close friends while I was drunk and she brought it up the next day. So if it happened they'll mention it
     
  5. Skov

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    I don't think you want to put yourself in a position where you are living with a homophobe. It most likely will make your life easier in the long run if you don't move in with him anyway.
     
  6. grizzleybear33

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    We made the living plans before I knew how much of one he was.
     
  7. CarUnderwater

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    things seem so terrible now and you're constantly wondering and worrying - but really, what good does it do you?

    either they will hate you, or they will not. Your sexual desires will not change and should not change based on what they say or think. Everything feels like the end of the world right now and it's hard to always stand up straight when people are pushing you down.

    You'll be okay. people enter our lives and they leave our lives. there's always a purpose, even when it seems like all the options are off the table - you find one you didn't notice before.
     
  8. tscott

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    Step back. Take a deep breath. You're 19 and have just learned a valuable lesson re: alcohol. I've certainly have made my share of "mistakes" while under the influence of drink, but though you're feeling as if this is the end of the world; it's not. You've identified youself as gay. You been honest. You now know who your friends are, who you can trust, who'll have your back. You've simply speeded up the process. I assume that you can alter your plans. If so, you have lost nothing. You have gained the freedom to be yourself and that is priceless. I've more years in the closet, mine was more of a panic room, than you've been alive, and this is a liberation not a tragedy. Give it time.

    I'm not saying you have no regrets or that this isn't hard, but given perspective you'll see this was right.

    In vino veritas - eh.

    (*hug*)