Im 23 Ive never been in a relationship but I have these 7 problems

I'm kind of in the same boat with some reasons with you, however I myself haven't been able to find my special someone. Though I have tried in the wrong places hahaha.

Someone said to me that you need to be happy with yourself in order to let others fall in love with you. And I'm trying bit by bit to follow that advice. Still working on it though.

Good luck and best o wishes

 

Wow. These are worries that could hold you back forever. I'm not really sure what you're asking, like how to get past these things to be ready for a relationship or if you're asking something else. But I will say that to an extent, a lot of those things are common and normal. Sounds to me like you want to find someone, but you talk yourself out of it. Soooooo many people have these same thoughts and worries, and yet they find and engage in healthy relationships.

I don't feel qualified to tell you how to "fix" yourself, but I can tell you there's a difference between accepting your problems, and letting them run your life. If you have ADD, then I assume you've been diagnosed by a professional. Have you tried talking to your doctor/psychiatrist about some of these things? There's a stigma about people who go to therapy, but as someone who studied psychology in college I can tell you that EVERYONE could use a little counseling.

Good luck!

 

I think opening up to your psychiatrist about the things you listed here would be your best bet. He or she is going to be the best resource, one that's already available to you, for conquering problems such as these. There are also tons of self-help books out there that could help you "get your mind right," like books on positivism and controlling obsessive thoughts, that could be useful; maybe you could go to your local library and browse self-help books? Essentially, psychological problems require tools you're going to get from professionals, but that you'll have to use on your own to overcome your issues.

Good luck!

 

Both me and the girl I love have virtually ALL of these issues, and that is exactly why we can't seem to get it together.......


:bang:

 

Well, first I try and remind myself little things that I tend to forget as new issues come up in my life and time passes by. For example, right now I'm stressed out to the point of crying because I'm f*cking things up in my last semester in college and it's my fault completely and I feel like crap and that I don't know sh*t. But you know, I've passed almost five years doing homeworks, proyects, test and I've been through a lot. I obtained an "outstanding" in a national test for my career last month, and then, after remembering all that, I understood that this problem is a little hurdle I need to overtake. And then I feel a little bit less like crap, though I still have the issue.

I try to accept myself and my defects little by little. Another example: I'm getting bald. It started in highschool and I've lost a lot of hair and my receding hairlines are always getting bigger. Back then I used to hide this by having long hair and avoiding showing my forehead. But bit by bit I started accepting the fact that I was going to be like that, so I started cutting my hair shorter showing little by little more of my receding hairlines, until 2 years ago when I finally decided to have a hairstyle in which I showed all my forehead with no room to hide anything. And although it was really hard, now I accept that fact and I'm ok with it because me and all the people around me have accustomed to seeing my ever-growing forehead. Another example is that I don't really feel that attractive because I watch the pictures of me on Fb and other places and I feel ugly. I started taking selfies (just taking them in my laptop, never showing or posting them) by changing my expressions and just fooling around, and that has helped me accept a bit how I look, and it reminded me that I can look pretty handsome in some poses and that I'm in no way a monster hahaha.

Of course, I have my ups and downs, like now: I have this issue and I freeze over it and it takes me forever to actually start solving it. It's a really important team project and we agreed to have our parts finished by today but I overslept and I have so much to do yet, but I just can't start. I'm frozen, I start doing other stuff although I know that the longer I take the more awful I'll feel. But I just can't, I don't know what to do. I start and freeze up a minute later and start worrying like crazy.

But oh well. It will pass I guess.

I haven't really thought about what I'm doing to be happy with myself. I guess I just haven't taking the advice to heart. Although I'm trying.

Hope this helps Best of luck

 

Hello!

You sound a lot like me at one time! I had a lot of the same concerns as you and thought I wouldn't be happy. I will admit that I'm currently having relationship issues, lol, but I'm much happy now then where I was, all things considered.

The thing with love is that you have to take some chances. You will likely get hurt, but when you find the one it will be worth it. As for the sex issues, lots of people are just as worried. If you find someone that truly cares for you, they won't mind the flaws you believe you have
They may not even see them. If you decide to take the step and have sex, it is completely okay if you get too nervous. Again, if you have a partner that cares for you, they'll understand. They may be disappointed for a moment but they should respect your wishes. If not, then maybe you should look elsewhere.

You're twenty-three. Not seventy-three. You have plenty of time for relationships. Just focus on you and things will fall in place. Maybe love will find you.

 

Honestly I used to feel the same way about a lot of that, I still relate to some but recently I've been having some tall breakthroughs in my own just from simple reflection and thought.

I've gotten really into philosophy and science and it makes me view the world as a giant miracle, every life on it is a miracle and all life in general by extension. Do if we are all miracles of being lucky enough to be born at all how can it be a mistake to be who we are? Every life is important for the simple fact that it exists. There is no reason to have any hate in our souls whatsoever. I would go as far as to say if you hold onto hate you can never experience love or the feeling of beauty, because beauty is the feeling of love.

I feel like I've reached nirvana and I'm happy, even when I'm in misery I'm happy, cause I know there is something good just up around the bend. And it's the dark times that make the bright one's shine with just that much more force. Even though I have no prospect of a romantic entanglement right now I have hope, and I'm happy even in my loneliness.

Open yourself to the wonders of our plane of existence and you will truly be in love, in love with the world, and in love with yourself.