So on Friday, I got together with a guy for the first time. A week ago, he had asked if I wanted to meet up and get something to eat, and I agreed. We ate and talked maybe for an hour and a half, and we decided to get up and leave. When we got out, he asked me if I wanted to go to his place and watch a movie or something, to which I happily agreed because I definitely enjoyed our dinner date and was hoping I could spend more time with him and get to know him more. We watched a movie on his bed and about an hour in, he started touching me and asking me what I was looking for, in which I replied that I'm not sure (somewhat true, but I do know I was treating this as a date and not a hook up). I forgot what he said, but I do remember something along the lines of not wanting to rush into anything, which gave me hope that he was open to dating. Shortly after that question, he leaned in for a kiss. My first one, actually. He didn't know, but within a few minutes, he was on top of me and I asked him how often he does this. He said he had only been with a couple guys, so that's when I told him I had never done anything before. Not sure if he was being honest, but he said he liked that and never would have known, and we just proceeded on. Eventually, he wanted to move on to oral, but I didn't let him. I felt absolutely terrible, and I apologized. The truth is, I really did want this to be a date, and if he wanted to see me again in the future, I wanted it to be because he wanted to spend more time with me and get to know me, not just for sex. He was very good about it and said he doesn't want to pressure me into anything, which made me very happy to hear. We continued to just hold each other and kiss, and that's as far as we went. Around midnight, he said I could stay over, which I was debating over but eventually agreed to. So we basically cuddled the rest of the night and fell asleep. Little bit more in the morning, and then I left around late morning. Before I left, he thanked me for coming over and kissed me, and then said something like "talk to you later." To be honest, I was really hoping he would ask me to come over again. I asked him if he would want to hang out later in the day or some other day, and he said something about being somewhat busy this weekend but he'd let me know if he's down to hang out again. So my thing is that I really liked this guy. My first impression of him was that he was somebody into hooking up. Reason being that I had talked to him previously on an app, and all he mentioned was seeing if I wanted to "take a break," which sounds very hookup-ish to me. This time around, he asked me to go out to dinner, so I took him to be a little more serious. He has a very cool personality and I like him. Additionally, he treated me so well even though I didn't want to go further that night. In the morning, he got up to get water or something and when he came back, he just rest his head on me and held me. Just the way he did it, I had to believe he felt the same way, but I really don't know. Throughout the night, we seemed to just be very affectionate with each other. Obviously I have nothing to compare this experience to because this was my first time, but it still didn't seem to be very "hookup" in nature. Now I want to know how to proceed with this guy. It's only been a day since I've seen him, so I know I shouldn't freak out. However, I really do want to seem him again. I was hoping it could be this weekend just because school wouldn't be in the way, but I know he is busy so it's okay. I really regret not trying to understand his true intentions that night, and I really wish I told him how I felt just so I wouldn't have to get my hopes up if he wasn't interested. So yeah, how should I go about this? I'm thinking I should just wait until this Friday and maybe tell him that I'd like to see him again if he's interested. There's a chance he may text me before that, but I really don't know. I definitely don't want to come off too clingy, and I don't want to pressure him, but I really do want a straightforward answer. Any advice?
Well.... I don't really have any experience with this.... But... He respected your wishes, so that's definitely a positive sign. And he seemed to like talking and actually hanging out with you for the person you are. I think it should be fine to keep seeing him and see how it goes Just proceed with caution; if he tries to rush/pressure you to do anything against your will you need to take a step back, because that means he probably only wants the hookup... Hope that helps
You've got a good idea. If he doesn't call/text you, give him a shout on Thursday/Friday asking if he wants to go out again, saying you really enjoyed it last time. It seems like he just wanted to move forward quickly, but he was really respectful of your wishes, so I think he's a well-intentioned guy. Time will tell!
It seems SO soon to be talking about feelings, like yours for him and wondering what he feels for you. Like super premature. But that's just my two cents. He was respectful of you wanting to wait on the physical parts and didn't pressure you, which is really good. He even asked you to stay over, which tells me he wasn't put off by it. And it sounds like he was sweet to you. But you should be leery of guys you meet on these apps. Most guys using them aren't on there to make any lasting connections, although that's not to say that doesn't happen. The fact that he said he was busy this week when you asked if he wanted to hang again before you left makes me think he might just be looking for a physical relationship; when you meet someone and develop a "crush" and want to see them again, in my experience you will FIND the time, even in the busiest schedule. Hopefully I'm wrong about that. In any case, I agree with the others about waiting a few days and if you don't here from him, text him. Justsomething friendly and light, like "Hey, how is your week going? I had fun the other night, hopefully we can do it again soon" and see what he says. If it doesn't seem like he's interested or making much of an effort to see you again, then iI wouldn't get my hopes up if I were you because chances are he's probably not looking for the same thing you're looking for. But if you're okay with that, there's nothing wrong with making a new friend and possibly exploring with him, sexually. But only if you won't get too emotionally invested, as that's a good way to get your heart broken. Good luck!
Thanks for the input. I think he's well-intentioned too. He was very nice and pretty affectionate towards me the whole time. I just hope it was genuine and not because he didn't want to seem like he doesn't care. If he didn't care and saw it more as a one time thing, then I'd prefer he tell me that. I know I turned him down when he asked me to come over about a month ago, but truthfully, I would've accepted this time. In that case, I wouldn't have expected much and probably would've left without feeling anything. But because this seemed more like a date, I just approached the whole thing differently. I'm probably overanalyzing this, it'd just be really cool to actually start dating for once... ---------- Post added 27th Apr 2014 at 02:26 PM ---------- Thanks DangerAlex. I figured that as well about the whole app thing. I didn't mean feelings like actually falling for him or anything; I agree it's WAY too soon to talk about that. I meant more like my feelings just towards wanting to see him again. Even if we don't consider it "dating," I still think we could be good friends who do other stuff sometimes, haha. It's just that me personally, I would not be as affectionate with somebody as we were if I didn't want to do it again. But it's only been a day, so I'll definitely just give it some time and ask on Friday.
