my only gay friend hates me, now im starting to hate myself... help?

sorry for the long story but i need to tell somebody this... theres this guy i met online about a month ago. We met up for a coffee, chatted and quickly became friends. he was (or seemed like) a nice guy and was very nice to me, always complimented me on how i look and how cute i was, i did the same. we soon became more than friends and would regularly meet up to have sex, hang out, eat, watch tv, relax, ect. it was amazing. i am still closeted and meeting someone i could cuddle with, have sex with, and just enjoy being around was incredible. i even slept over all night with him just two days ago! we had this open thing going and he even encouraged me to meet other guys, thats where i went wrong. i had a terrible encounter with a guy i met online who wasnt who he made himself out to be, so i left. i was safe and cautious the whole time and was shaken from the experience but when i told him what happened, the last thing i expected was the cold-hearted, asshole that responded. he didnt even sound like himself anymore, he was angered that i did something like that, and in my defence he sleeps with other guys too so can't see why :S i told him i was using a condom as i always do, but didn't even want him, and i didn't feel safe. my friend told me we were done, and at that moment i lost everything that ever made my shitty life before this good. He absolutely refused to listen - I pleaded, cried, reasoned. I talked of all the happy memories we had and all the moments we shared. The night before this argument he had been kissing and cuddling me and telling me how much he loved spending time with me and how much fun we had! The very next day he couldn't see one reason to even try to save our relationship. And, true to form as the most stubborn person I have ever met, had made his mind up. His world has not been turned upside down. And I hate that he has made me so down on myself - I have so little confidence now, and I used to be so bubbly and happy. I cry a lot, and then I feel like a loser for crying, when it's so easy for him to just walk away. I just want to erase everything, I just want to try and start over. I want to stop hurting and believe that there is someone who will love me and accept me for who I am. But I'm not sure anymore. And I hate that he has made me that way. i'm so depressed, i haven't slept in 2 days, and to top it off hes completely ignoring me and won't anwser my texts... i have already considered suicide, but i don't want to end this, i think i love him :'( but whats the good of anything if the one person who actually made me happy no longer wants anything to do with me? please help me :tears:

 

thanks guys, but he's made me feel like this is my fault :S good news tho! he just texted me back! i really hope theres a chance to change things for the better.... but thank you so much for your replies, they have helped for sure!