Because I'm just starting to come out and never dated beforehand, I have little to no dating experience. I've only really had one relationship which lasted for a month so I'm kind of new to this to say the least. So a couple of weeks ago, I started seeing this guy around my college/uni and we ended up talking quite a bit. While I we talking, I definitely got the vibe that he's gay but I may have been biased because he's REALLY, REALLY cute. After we talked for about an hour one weekend (we had met the week prior), I started liking him but I wasn't sure if he felt the same (still not, but I'm getting there). While we we're talking, he kept asking me questions about my religious background and family life. I ended up talking around the fact that I was gay but I didn't want to seem like I had something to hide. So, to make conversation easier, I ended up coming out to him. He then told me that I was "awesome" and "that he was glad that he met me before he graduated." It started getting weird when he friended me on a popular social networking site (lol guess which one). When I messaged him, he seemed a little more removed than he did in person. Other than a single longish conversation, our online conversations have been really short, so short that I figured it wasn't worth pursuing. Later, when I saw him around campus in person, he seemed really excited to see me. He always complains that he doesn't see me often enough and he looks at me really intensely. He DOES NOT break eye contact at all (and it sort of scares me because I get really shy.) Because of that, I resolved to ask him to get ice cream with me and, when I did, he said yes! However, our online conversation is still full of one-liners. And worse, every time we have a conversation online, I'm the one who starts it. Now, I don't mind starting conversations but I really starting to wonder if he's interested or just a nice guy. To make things worse, he is graduating so I can't really wait and see. Another issue is that I don't even know if he's gay. His profile is full of subtle suggestions (particularly his likes, some of which are LBGT-related but he's also fairly liberal) that he might be gay but nothing explicit. My biggest issue, however, would be taking someone out who's not interested. I wouldn't want to be a burden to anyone, especially someone who I kind of admire. So my biggest question is how should I go about this date/friend-date? Could he be gay? Is this even a date? Should I just let it go? I think either way I would appreciate his friendship but just trying to figure out if there's any interest there. Any help would be appreciated!! Especially because right now I'm like :bang:
Just go, have fun. Maybe he'll say something that lets you know for certain. My fiance and I met over a business meeting and blurted out that I was cute so he didn't mind the extra time it was taking to get the contract straightened out. And for me that was the holy crap he's gay moment and we've been together ever since. Or...you could ask about his girlfriend.
It's hard to say one way or the other whether he's interested in you just based off reading your story. I want to say yes he is, but then again nothing he's done is too far outside the realm of friendship and being a nice guy. If I were you, I would ditch the subtleties--like combing is profile for hints that he's gay or over-analyzing your interactions with him--and just have a conversation with him. You already came out to him and he reacted very positively; if anything, your coming out to him seems to have strengthened your friendship, so there is no reason to believe your crush would freak him out, especially when at the very least you know that he supports the LGBT community. I wouldn't be aggressive about it. Wait a few weeks and hang out more with him if you'd prefer, but when you two are alone and in a light-hearted mood, I would talk to him. Say something like "I've had a blast getting to know you and hanging out with you. I might even have a little crush on you..." and see how he reacts. His response to that is going to tell you whether there's a chance for romance between the two of you, or whether you should just accept that it'll only ever be friendship. As to how your interactions via social media go, I wouldn't read too much into it. I know it's frustrating when you feel like you're a great conversationalist online but the person you're talking to doesn't seem interested in talking and keeps responses brief, but this doesn't necessarily mean anything. Some people just don't like having lengthy, wordy conversations online. It's a matter of taste and personality more often than not. I hope this helps. Good luck!
