In love with my Christian best friend

Continue trying AND make some new friends. It seems she's the center of your attention, which isn't bad, but if it is not mutual then it can turn bad. You two should still be friends, but make boundaries on the limits: touching, flirting, and playing if need be. You shouldn't cut someone off because you like them too much, but don't go through hoops for them either. There's other people you'll fall in love with.

 

From what you've said, it just seems like she loves you as a friend. It just looks like you cut a great friend out of your life because you couldn't seperate your attraction from your friendship.

It's hard to like someone with them not feeling the same way for you, but I don't feel like you should cut them out of your life because of that or expect them to later feel the same way for you when they're straight.

 

To me, she does not sound interested at all, and she really wants you to get this, and you just aren't taking it. You're looking for reasons to hope for otherwise, despite her rejecting you flat-out at least twice. I mean, technically, sure- she could be gay or bi and not realize it because of her religion and such. But even in that case, there is no reason she necessarily needs to be interested in you. And I'm just saying that's possible- she said that isn't the case, an you have every reason to believe her.

Girls are often very affectionate. Me and my best friend (who is totally straight as a line) hold hands sometimes, we cuddle watching our favorite tv show together, we sit on each other's laps now and then, we hug a lot and are generally affectionate in a lot of ways. But I know it isn't like that, it's a normal situation among girls, really. Being affectionate on that level gan easily just come from a very close friendship-like love. That kind of closeness and warmth is comforting and it feels good if you care about the person. It doesn't necessarily mean anything, though. It's not sexual. It doesn't mean they are IN love with you, attracted to you, or be with you in any way other than friends.

Listen to what she says. If she says she isn't gay, if she says she isn't interested- listen and DO NOT doubt her. If it's too hard for you to be just friends with her, then that's fine and reasonable. But take that as a sign you need to leave, not as a sign you should try to win over your friend who is telling you she is straight.

 

Alot of good advice here.

So, falling in love with a straight Christian girl, totally sounds like me, lol. Luckily they've just been crushes for me instead of love, I'm sorry to hear you have to be in this situation. <3

Yes, straight up honestly, from this perspective it looks like she's a good friend (and only friend I'm afraid) who can't recipricate the feelings you have for her. We all fall for people who don't like us back, there's no shame in it. Just how human nature works.
It does sound to me like the best thing might be for you to actually, and truly, accept that this is only ever going to be a friend. As nice a stop on the road of life she's been for you, she isn't your princess in shining armor inthe long run.
If you can accept that, I think you two could be really great friends. I mean really, it sounds like an exceptionally good friendship.
If, after thinking about it, you find you cannot accept this and cannot feel comfortable while still being friends with her, it may be best to tell her the truth and do what you need to do for you and part ways.

She sounds perfectly straight, and odds are high she is, so imagine this from her point of view. Someone you see as family who wants to be more than friends. You just can't make yourself feel something no matter how good your relationship with that person is.
She isn't bi like you and me, you can't turn her either.
The only problem I see on her end is that she got mad at you for needing space. Because you DO need space and acceptance to get over somebody.
Otherwise, she seems like someone you don't want to miss out on a friendship with. But that's all it can be. So like said here already, making new friends would be a great idea.

I hope anything I said helps you, I don't take my own advice.
Congrats on having the courage to tell her how you feel, this time it was a loss. But it's always good to be honest and get things out there. It sounds to me like she is trying to be perfectly clear where she's coming from. I wish you both the best of the best of luck.

 

I would just echo what I'm Just Me and The Escapist said.

The only idea I'd add is that even if it happened, years down the line, that your friend realized she had feelings toward women - it's not our place, as gay/bi girls, to try to "push" that realization on them now.

Nor is it wise to "wait around" for a girl who says she's straight, now, to maybe have such an epiphany in the future.

Because the fact is, you can't know. You can only know what she's telling you now. And take it as a fact. :/

I know this probably dashes all hopes and is hard to hear, but I say it for you. Because you're worth more than waiting helplessly by a straight girl, love her as a friend (and more) as you may - and aching that much for someone with whom it's not (in all probability and realism) going to happen.

I'm sorry.

I know how this feels, because I was once in love with my straight best friend, too. But now we still have a wonderful friendship, many many years later. And I wouldn't give it up for the world.

(In time, my feelings morphed for her into platonic friendship-love. But I won't lie and say my heart for her didn't have to break, first. It had to get broken for me to move on. And it did.)

(*hug*) Be strong, cry as you need, and know that you're a good and very wonderful and brave person for sticking by your friend and roughing it through the hard period that inevitably ensues when you have to grieve the romantic love that's being lost.

 

Ugh...um, let's see. That's a hard question.

Well, my romantic feelings for her I think were 86'd when she kind of friend 'broke-up' with me. She just started putting this inexplicable distance between us, and eventually I felt really abandoned & depressed, and it was bad...I became suicidal (though she never knew it)...

...and basically, to survive, I had to completely "cut off" all of that feeling for her, and grieve it.

It was just this huge grief process thing, made worse by my own undiagnosed depression issues at the time, and being unaware of (closeted to) myself...mixed with low self-esteem, and feeling socially that I didn't "fit" with most of my school peers.

I can't honestly recall how long this 'breakup'/grief process took...some months? The better part of a year? It's fuzzy, now.. (I was a bit in a depressive haze.)

But the positive note is: She came back. And wanted our friendship.

And I just silently took the lesson away that I had been wanting too much from her...specifically, that, whether unspoken between us or not, she had caught the vibe of my more-than-friendship feelings for her, and had been running away from that.

So when she came back, I had flushed (grieved away) those feelings for her, down the drain...and we were able to start our friendship kind of 'again.' Like on a new foot.

It was hard...but I am grateful, so very much, now.

 

Hi so i was in the same situation about a year ago im also from the philippines and my gf is a mormon which is christian but in a stricter sense i also gave her an ultimatum and told her that if she cant be with me and ill have to leave her at first she told me she couldnt be in a relationship with me and so i told her i have to leave after a few days she eventually said yes and told me she cant take it if i was out of her life but the thing is before i even confessed to her i guess i was sort of courting her even though she was my bestfriend back then i bought her all these expensive gifts i open the door for her i hold her seat as she sits down when we walk on the street she on the side away from the cars i was always sweet and i was always there for her and i think thats why she said yes. If you really love this girl like you say you do then go for it. You cant lose anything more right shes already rejected you before by the way my gf and i have been dating for ten months now and we are going real strong and she is also the first girl i have actually liked and i have also had a bf before haha similarities are amazing anyway goodluck ) but if you feel like she really is straight and theres no chance in hell youll be together then dont take my advice haha dont know if my story helps i hope it does