I came out to my parents recently. They said they didn't condone it, but my dad's face turned red when I told him. I want to be open to them, but I can't. I can't talk to them about being gay or even mention it. I can't wear rainbows at home either. I can't wear my band to church. My dad is happy when I don't wear it at home. They are very Religious, and do am I, except I have accepted who God made me to be. But how do I cope with a situation like this? Why is my dad acting like this? Is he embarrassed? Whats going on?
Your dad is most likely experiencing a sense of loss (the loss of the perception that you're straight, that you'll marry a man, and all the other things that come with being straight), and with that comes the typical five stages of grief: Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. He may not cope with it immediately; it may take him months, or worst case scenario, years. I recommend you be patient with him. Give him time. While he's not completely accepting/permitting of your sexuality, he's not acting against you, so be happy about that and see where it goes. In time, he may grow better. He also might want to talk to you about it - your feelings, how you know, how you feel about women, how you feel about men, etc. He just doesn't fully understand right now, and anything you can answer or do for him that may help him understand better, you should. Congrats on coming out, nonetheless!
When my parents first found out I was gay they took it so hard themselves and I also come from a very religious Christian family so as you can imagine this was hard on both me and my parents. What I am going to say is just give them time to take in an absorb all the information they have just learned about you. With me my parents took a while to finally understand that gay is just who I am and although at first they tried their whole religion stuff on me I stood firm and it came to the eventual point where they learned to accept me for who I am and so I say that even with your parents if it takes a while time right now is what you need to give them. Once they have been able to come to terms and understand that you are gay they may become more accepting and be willing to discuss this more and then you can explain how you feel and tell them you just want some support. Hopefully by then things work out for you. I wish you well good luck.
I totally agree with the previous two replies. I too came from a very religious family. My mother still hasn't accepted my orientation, but she's closer to it than she was when I first came out. Right now I think she's in the bargaining stage. She already went through the depression and the other stages before this.
