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Was he just playing with my heart?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by ALilConfused, May 2, 2014.

  1. ALilConfused

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    There's this guy at my school who I'm friends with... Let's call him Todd.

    Back when I first met him three years ago, he acted very peculiar around me, to say the least. Whenever I talked with him, he smiled at me, he sometimes gave me cute little pet names (typical stuff you would see with a bf/gf, like "honey" and stuff). He'd also get all touchy with me sometimes, like putting his hand on my waist/hip area, generally invading my personal space, etc. Just all around flirty shit.

    Nowadays, he acts more like a friend or even a brother than a guy who's interested in me. Despite the way he acted with me back when we first knew each other, he now wants to talk about girls he likes and stuff. I came out to him a few months ago, so he should feel comfortable telling me if he does have feelings towards men, but things are still different from what they used to be.

    I had a crush on him when I first met him and I still have pretty strong feelings for him, but it doesn't seem like he even acknowledges the way things used to be.

    Did he actually like me? Was he straight and just using me to get self-esteem because he realized that I loved the attention he gave me three years ago? What went wrong? :icon_sad:
     
  2. resu

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    He could just be flirtatious but only in a platonic way, and he could be toning it down now that you're out to avoid giving the wrong impression. What did he say to you when came out to him? Often, people will respond (naturally) by stating their own sexuality.

    You could be slightly indirect and say you wish you could find a gay guy just as wonderful as him. Or, you could be more direct and just admit you like him. If he's still your friend, he should be able to say whether he is interested or not.
     
  3. ALilConfused

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    I have to be honest. When I said "flirting", that was actually a bit of an understatement. There were times where it was borderline sexual harassment (which is where the touchy comment came from). I'd rather not be very specific because I don't want someone I know stumbling across this thread. There were times where he really went out of his way to give off the impression of wanting to get intimate with me, if you know what I mean.

    Anyway, he didn't start toning it down when I came out, he started not really flirting anymore about a year or so ago before that. It was somewhat of a progression of going from really flirtatious to almost completely platonic.

    As for the last comment, he didn't immediately say he was straight, but he did say he was the next day after the conversation.

    I don't think I have the courage to do anything that risky, lol.
     
  4. ALilConfused

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    Should I just give things more time?
     
  5. resu

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    I'm not sure. He could have just got more mature and realize he was being too touchy with you. I think you should move on and look for guys who are more willing to reciprocate your interest

    Right now, he's had time to digest you coming out, and he at least seems to not be put off by it. Therefore, you should ask yourself is it worth it to bottle up your emotions just so you can stay friends? If not, you should tell him your feelings or try to not be so close with him. Being friends for so long, he might even have an idea you like him.