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Hello there, advice please...?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by hollybee, May 5, 2014.

  1. hollybee

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    Hi I'm Holly and I know I'm bi but no one else does.
    That is, apart from one girl.
    We were best friends for two years and during this period I developed feelings for her. These feelings grew stronger and stronger until I eventually told her I 'had feelings' for her. I told her over text (big mistake I couldn't see her reaction) and basically we became more than friends. We didn't discuss it but for about three/four months we were in a relationship. We texted all the same and were 'physical' (wink wink)
    We told no one about it, though I think our parents had their suspicions, and still no one knows anything about it.
    She wanted something more serious than what I was looking for, but then at the same time she was secretive and didn't want anyone else to know we were 'together'. At the time I wanted spontaneity and a care free relationship but she wanted the traditional boyfriend girlfriend approach.
    To cut a long story short I 'broke it off' with her but without telling her why. I just said I didn't want to be with her and she cried a lot. I didn't know what to do (I'd never done this before) but she didn't ask why so I didn't explain. But I'm regretting that now. I feel I owe her an explanation, like I should tell her my feelings towards her had changed and I wasn't ready for commitment. I didn't (and still don't) understand these feelings I had for another girl, and I think that's why I got scared when she tried to make our relationship more serious.
    Part of me wants to talk to her about this, but then I know she's moved on so I don't want to bring this back up. I feel bad and like I should explain but then I don't know if she'd want to hear it....


    Any advice about what I should do?


    Holly x
     
  2. lovely lesbian

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    Hello welcome can ask how old you both are if that is ok?
     
    #2 lovely lesbian, May 5, 2014
    Last edited: May 5, 2014
  3. Nocturnal

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    Imo, not giving her an explanation at the time is a big mistake. That hurts the most when relationship ends. I think everyone deserves an explanation. But at least you just didn't flat out stopped talking to her. I think you should tell her why, & apologize but that's it. Keep it simple. You both can be at peace with yourselves.
     
  4. hollybee

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    We're both 16

    ---------- Post added 5th May 2014 at 03:26 PM ----------

    Thanks for the advice :slight_smile:
    I think keeping it simple is a good idea, I don't want her to misread anything and interpret it as me wanting to be with her again
     
  5. lovely lesbian

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    I think that not telling why you broke up with her was wrong and you need to sit down with her at some point and tell her whenever you and her feel ready to do so you clearly really liked this girl and she liked you and maybe one day you and her can be together.
     
  6. Nocturnal

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    You're welcome. :slight_smile:
    Tell us the outcome when you tell her.
     
  7. hollybee

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    Yeah it was wrong, and I know that now. i just feel a little scared about talking about it with her, we never really discussed serious things so it'll be weird to do. I think i'll have to text her soon and arrange a "heart to heart" aha
     
  8. lovely lesbian

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    That sounds like a good idea
     
  9. happydavid

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    HI if you need to talk message me :-D
     
  10. Mattx

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    It's probably better if you talk in person
    It will help
    But what do I know the guy I'm falling for.doesn't even know
    At least I don't think