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First Post. Please read

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by atlast, May 6, 2014.

  1. atlast

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    Hi everyone,

    I am new to this site and glad it's here! I am looking forward to offering and receiving advice, and I will start off with my current romantic interest dalema.

    I have been divorced from a man for over 10 years. We had one son. I do not regret being out of this relationship for one second as he turned into Mr. Hyde a few years before our breakup. About two years post divorce, I turned to women. The LWord, lesbian movies and personal sites were my outlets on this new journey as I was closeted completely. I always had always been attracted to both men and women, but my relationships had only been with men in the past.

    Fast forward two years and I found myself in a relationship with a woman who I met online. I was initially attracted to her emotionally but not physically. Then I met HER at a party. She was sweet, smart, super hot and had a kid in my son's class. She even has and HRC sticker on her car to this day. We have run into each other occassionally over the last five years and have had pleasant exchanges each time. I ended the erstwhile relationship and moved on in 2010. Meetings with HER have ramped up lately as our kids are in some of the same extra curricular activities. She will go out of her way to start a conversation about our common passion...football!! She added my team to her "likes" on Facebook even though she is a fan of another team. I invited her to my birthday dinner that included a few friends. She attended!!! Wow, was I happy! There we talked about going on an away game road trip, we made lots of good eye contact and best of all was the big, long hug she gave me at the end.(*hug*)

    All of this gave me confidence to finally get up the courage to make a move. Then all the momentum stopped when I wanted to make sure what her preferences were - men, women or both. I checked out one of the personal sites she had mentioned months ago. Yep, I found her well thought out bio with details of interests and some gorgeous/sexy photos of her. Worst of all - she chose "seeking men interested in women" on the "who are you looking for" section. Ugh!

    So, moving forward I definitely want to be friends with her. The kids, football, similar politics, love traveling, same type of ex-husband drama. But the facade may be hard to keep up as the relationship grows. And what if she gets a boyfriend - that would do me in. Or, what if she is in the closet??

    What should I do?

    Thanks so much for reading my story, letting me vent and chiming in with any and all advice/comments.

    :confused:
     
  2. resu

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    Are you out to her?
     
  3. atlast

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    No, unfotunately she has no idea of my sexual preference for women.
     
  4. PatrickUK

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    It sounds like you both really get on and have similar interests on many levels, so when you have been talking, has the subject of gay rights or issues ever been spoken about in a casual way? Do you know where she stands in general terms about LGB people? If you have never spoken about this, it might be worth trying to 'engineer' a conversation to see where the land lies... maybe talk about same sex marriage or a celebrity who has recently come out. Just a way of opening up the conversation and testing things out.

    If you are able to do this, her reaction may reveal something and provide a few clues as to the way forward. What do you think?
     
  5. atlast

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    Hi Linco, thanks for your perspective and great suggestion. I can tell this lady definitely supports the LBGT community having seen the HRC sticker on her car and Facebook likes supporting LGBT activities on her college campus(she is a prof).

    It is really helpful to have other eyes look at this and their opinions. I am grateful for yours and hope I can help you with an issue some day too.