So after all this time, I finally met this guy in Indy who I am totally in love with and we've been dating for a week. I've talked to his family and they like me so I already have that part handled. But he told me today that he wants to still date, but take things slow. I don't know what he means and I just need help because I don't want to lose this guy because I REALLY REALLY Like him! He already said he plans on getting me presents and sending them for me for my b-day and christmas. But that doesn't seem like he's taking it slow don't you think? He said he has a hard time letting people into his heart and that he jumped into dating too fast, but then he still says he wants to keep dating :bang:. Idk what to do so I could use all the help/advice I can get because I'm totally in love (!)
I'm totally in love No offense, but I wouldn't be surprised if that had something to do with it... Taking it slow will mean different things for different people. For some it means they don't want sex or physical contact right away. For others it means they don't want to go on dates more than a few times a month. For others it means that they don't want to rush into ANY kind of committed relationship for a million different reasons. It isn't necessarily something you need to worry about. Basically, for now, just treat it as thought the guy needs time to adjust to something new.
The first problem I see here is that you stated you have been dating him for about a week now but in your post title you stated that you had boyfriend problems. Nowhere in your post did you mention that the two of you made the relationship as boyfriend to boyfriend official. Unless he told you that him and you are boyfriend but you forgot to post that part. But what I am seeing is that he feels like you are moving too fast. I mean just one week and you already view him as your boyfriend or something close to that well with me and my boyfriend we were together for about a month before making it an official relationship because we wanted to be sure we really had the feelings for each other and perhaps this guy is just using precaution and trying to make sure you are the right one and that his feelings for you are true. The best you can do now is wait it out and just see where this takes you and after a while if you still feel like you both are not progressing than you can find the time to talk to him and ask him about taking this to the next level or something. Good luck.
I think you need to let him take it slow--whatever it turns out to mean for him. I have been on the other side of that divide several times--I thought we would go to the movies and he thought we would pick out china... It's not a comfortable place to be and to be brutally honest I always thought if someone falls for me immediately and knows I'm the one after a week that it probably doesn't have a lot to do with me at all but more to do with how much they want a boyfriend or how in love with the idea of love they are. Go to the movies, go out for coffee. If he really is the one it will be fun whether or not you are boyfriends yet...
Hi. My first inclination is that you sound clingy, so you may be scaring him away. Clingyness comes from insecurity, which comes from shame and low self esteem. So it isn't something you can just fix. You have to work on yourself, learn to love yourself, and believe you're worthy of love, belonging, and having a wonderful boyfriend. He, in turn, may have difficulty with emotional intimacy: letting people get close is scary, so when it starts to happen, he pushes them away. If that's the combination, it's a particularly tricky one. The best (and hardest) choice is honest, truly authentic communication. That means telling him exactly what you really feel and think, and his doing the same for you, so that you can both understand if you are on the same page. It means talking about the insecurities and fears. It also means both of you have to be ready and willing to hear whatever the other person says, and to listen and understand and not rush to judgment, or try to sell yourself. Authenticity in relationships is cultivated over time, is hard work, but is totally worth it. It isn't easy, but if you can do that, it makes it a lot easier to work through the issues. That's where I'd start.
