Hey there. I get you shouldn't judge others on their weight, but dad, I sit hear two rooms away and I can hear you wheezing from walking up the stairs. One level. Come on. It's gotten to the point where I begged you today to teach me to mow the lawn not because I need the cash or the training right now, but because I fear with these hot summers you'll pass out, and quite frankly it would take a small crowd to lift the 300 pound 6'3 man into an ambulance. I watched you last summer tell tales of how this new vitamin and this new supplement will make you lose weight, yet when mom sleeps I hear you sneak off to the kitchen. It's 79 degrees today. Oh but we both know our summers get way hotter than that. We easily will hit triple digit heat waves, yet you're already soaking a shirt. I understand you work long hours. And that you can't bike as often, or even for very long. But today it was too "bright" tomorrow it will be too "hot". It's sad that I am the bad guy. I have to cry to mom that I'm scared that my father, the man who is so close to diabetes the doctor cringes, the man who has had a triple bypass. She's soft, because she loves you in that romantic sense. I am concerned. Just as concerned as if my own partner started to gain weight to this unhealthy level. It's not cute. A little chub is fine, but I have to take your shoes off for you because you can't reach? That's not fine. It's impossible to not worry because your eating habits might as well be an addiction to some drug. You deny the consequences, and claim there is no way to lose weight. I saw you do it before, you got down forty, but then you gained fifty. It's hard to explain that I don't know how to help you, all I can do is watch you waste away.
I think the problem here is that we're failing to view this as addiction, and even when we view it as addiction, we don't view those who have addiction compassionately. The very nature of addiction is that people are dependent or committed to a habit, even if they know the habit is unhealthy. Your dad already knows he's unhealthy. But your telling him that isn't going to make him feel better. It's only going to increase his sense of shame. My view of the matter is that he needs professional medical attention and counseling to get to a better place.
Although not exactly taking the same form, this post pretty well described the concern I have for my parents and their extremely-unhealthy lifestyle. (Mom has chain-smoked for 45 years, for instance.)
My father does the same... It gets on my nerves sometimes, I feel he isn't trying hard enough to lose the extra wheigt. Sometimes he laughs at my relatively healthy eating habits...
Why not? Why not try to talk to him about it. He needs someone (preferably others as well) to help him get out of this. It's hard to lose that much weight alone. Every little bit helps. I think you should sit down with your family and talk to him about it. Don't let him leave. He will get defensive. He will get angry. But tell him that it is for the better. You need to convince him. Be there for his support. Sitting by and watching isn't going to help (no offensive, but it's true). I'm no doctor or weight specialist. Hell, I'm not even fit myself. But I know that he will need the constant support of people that love him. I am positive that he can lose that weight. I'm positive that he can be healthy. All it takes is a little bit of support and the drive to keep going.
Gosh .. I bet if you wrote to him a bit like your post he would sit up and take notice. Could he cope with that?
