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My ex girlfriend "isn't that way anymore"

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Deadellaastra, May 11, 2014.

  1. Deadellaastra

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    Okay, so when I was in seventh grade, there was this eighth grade girl named Kayla.
    She was a percussionist, and we had band together.
    She absolutely hated me.
    We started talking during my eighth grade year because we were mutuals on tumblr.
    She saw a post I had made last summer about being a lesbian.
    And then she sent this really long message basically saying "you're a lesbian? I had no clue. I mean I questioned it." And then she went on to basically say she had had a crush on me ever since she got to know who I really am. And I actually had no clue she liked girls. And she is hottttttt. So uhh yeah. I was like, Damn SON!
    So, we started dating June 11. And we only saw each other on Tuesdays and Thursdays for marching band music run-throughs.
    We hugged a lot. But that was kind of it.
    On the first day of band camp, she introduced me to her friend Collin as her girlfriend.
    The whole time during band camp we didn't really talk that much, what was I supposed to say?
    I met this other girl named Samantha, and she was always hitting on me. But I mean, I was dating Kayla.
    So, it got to the point where Kayla and I didn't really talk that much, we never kissed, or held hands, and we had been together for almost three months.
    I broke up Kayla near the end of September.
    In a note.
    That Friday night before the football game, I made out with Samantha in a practice room.
    Then she came over that night.
    We kissed, but then all I could think about was Kayla.
    I pretended to fall asleep, and everything was okay.
    Ever since then, I have tried to beg Kayla back in every single way.
    Countless notes, rambling, poetry.
    It seemed as if no matter what I did, I was never going to be good enough.
    Then she said that she's not "that way anymore."
    And out of everything, that's what I don't get. How can you just not be "that way?"
     
  2. HeavyHeart

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    She sounds like she is very confused. She may not know or understand who she is yet, or she may be trying to deny her feelings towards women. Figuring out who you are is not easy for most people. I'm not saying what she did or said was right, but I can understand her confusion.
     
  3. she might of been confused at the time, but maybe not who knows. i really dont mean to be harsh but she might of said it to get you off her back, you said youve tried to win her back countless times but it didnt work....

    may of been a gentle way to say enough is enough...?
    idk though.
     
  4. resu

    Advisor Full Member

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    You can't live your life looking through the rear-view mirror, and you definitely need to stop telling yourself you're not good enough. IMO, I put more emphasis on actions more than words/labels. Samantha is the only one who seems comfortable showing her affection for you; Kayla may have a lot of other issues or pressure to act straight. She needs to resolve that first.