One of my "friends" (ex-friends now) and I went to a school event together ish. As in, I tagged along with her and her group of friends and blended my time between her and my own friends. She recently (as in, two ish months ago) came out to me. At the time, it was kind of surprising and seemed very rushed and kind of forced. A couple weeks after she initially came out, she spent a week getting to know a *way* older girl online, and was going to spend the weekend with her an hour away from home. She's one of those people (she's a freshman who skipped a year, and I am a junior) who hates being young and forces herself to act much older/more mature than she really is. I was kind of her "gay mentor," or that older queer person that guides you/her through the whole spiel. Anyway, we danced and spent a lot of time together at this thing. There was a lot of hand holding and hugging (she had some anxiety issues part of the way through) and some cuddling. I did, repeatedly, have to tell her to stop getting extra close (she started grinding on me during the dance, for example) because certain "levels" or forms of physical closeness make me extremely uncomfortable. She didn't pay attention to my personal limits. HOWEVER, I am one of those people who does that with her close friends. My best friend (who is straight) and I are pretty strangely comfortable with each other and do the same sort of physical things and bam, no romantic feelings. She looked way too deep into things and assumed we were a thing or rapidly approaching becoming a thing. This lead to me sending her essentially a break up text after she sent me multiple messages explaining her feelings and how she was "sexually frustrated." She replied, basically parroting my words back to me, and basically saying that she wanted me to be her first gay "experience." It was very creepy, and felt "predatory" (yes, full context of the word implied). Usually when we would hang out or talk at school, I felt like she was forcing something else into the friendship and forcing it to be extra close. I would do what I do best, and push it away, but apparently "my best" didn't work! So now for questions. She said that "all she can hope for" is for us to become friends again at some point. She has made me feel so pervy (literally she's almost three years younger than me, and not like that's an issue, but the maturity gap and school year gap and age gap combination is very uncomfortable to me, and I didn't even intend on anything exploding or being read so incorrectly), and targeted, that I don't want to be friends. Do I just focus on doing what I'm doing, and staying as far away as possible? She and I have a class together, every day, and she sits directly behind me. She is in two of the same clubs as me. She might be joining my "sub-school" in the fall if her parents let her (her interest was sudden and, to me, didn't feel genuine). How can I avoid her at least until school gets out in a month? Also thank you for reading this morbidly long essay :s
Yikes! Sounds like a total pain to have to face her every single day. Meep. But I would say keep your thoughts turned toward what you have to do that is important to YOU, and keep your attention away from her. Awkwardness is awkwardness; it happens to us all in many contexts. I don't think you can necessarily avoid the awkwardness unless you want to be friends with her again, in which case I would talk things out with her. On the other hand, it doesn't really sound like you DO want to be friends, in which case I would just keep your eyes on what's important to you and try to keep her in the periphery.
Sounds like your levels of emotional maturity are very different. I feel bad for you and for her in different ways. She's going through a lot of changes and just wants something familiar and safe, while you are pretty settled in your identity and are not in the mood to mess around. I think you need to have a frank talk with her about personal boundaries and feelings. But if you feel uncomfortable it's your right to keep your distance in whatever way is best; you need to look out for you. She needs more from you than you need from her; additionally, she needs more from you than you are prepared to give. Be honest with her about how she makes you feel used (is that correct to say?) and then move on.
