Hey guys. I have a few random questions. So my bf's birthday is this week and we've only been dating a couple of weeks. Do I need to get him a gift or something? He said not to but I don't know because I feel like I should but I don't know what to get or how much to spend. I don't want him to be angry at me. Do I have to get his brother anything if I do (they're twins aka same bday). He seems to keep trying for PDAs at school and it's freaking me out. I have told him I don't like it and he says that I shouldn't be embarrassed but I am. I just don't want people to see that. How do I get him to stop asking? Also he's mad that I won't accept his Facebook tag thing marking me as his boyfriend or put that I'm in a relationship with him. I don't really want to do this but do I have to?
Well for comedic value you should get him a present but give it to his brother. *Urban dictionaries PDA's* Eh you shouldn't be embarrassed, but I know how you feel there. You could probably be midly affectionate, not over the top. A sort of balance between "nothing" and "lots". As for facebook, you could just put "In a relationship". I have a friend and both him and his girlfriend have only said they're in a relationship, but not who with.
Awww. Ok, PDA is kind not great for too much but maybe just tell him that you're shy about it and figure out the limits that work for both of you. Present - yes. Something small, though, and none for the brother. FB - why not? If you like him and your parents are OK with it, go for it!
I think a small, personal gift is reasonable and I don't think it's necessary to give anything to his brother. I don't even think anyone else needs to know you're giving him anything unless of course you want them to. It definitely doesn't have to be anything expensive, just something to let him know he's special to you. As for public displays of affection, I'm definitely on your side on this one. I think it can make a lot of people uncomfortable (even if it's two older straight people doing it) and isn't really appropriate for school anyways. I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing, but if it's something you're not comfortable he should definitely respect that. I am a little torn on the Facebook thing. I'd definitely understand your reluctance if you weren't widely out to people, but that doesn't seem to be the case. In this situation he might feel like you're ashamed of your relationship or don't think it's as serious as he does so I can see why this could bother him. I don't think you have to do this if you don't want to, but you should at least make an effort to make him understand how much you really do care about him and that you're not embarrassed to be with him. Good luck!
I would offer him a small something. For the Public Display of Affection, why does it bother you? Same goes for facebook? I would be very upset if my lover wouldn't want PDA or going facebook official... I would think that they don't actually love/want me, or are ashamed of me or of our relationship.
Replies in red^ ---------- Post added 13th May 2014 at 07:24 PM ---------- How small of a present? Like I just have no f-ing clue on what to buy a guy I don't know on Facebook. I'm probably just being weird ---------- Post added 13th May 2014 at 07:26 PM ---------- I mean he's not trying to snog me or anything. he just keeps trying to hold my hand while we're sitting after lunch and things like that. it makes me uncomfortable and i know its because i'm still really uncomfortable being out. he keeps bringing up that i had no issue holding my ex-gf's hand and its like well yeah. i don't know. it's not that i'm embarrassed to be dating him. just me being shy about being gay i guess.
Just tell him you feel umcomfortable. You don't have to be all touchy feely or holding hands. It took me two years before I felt comfortable being out. As for facebook, "In a relationship" is fine.
ok, bottom line here is, in any healthy relationship, it is a give-and-take between both of you. If you aren't comfortable with PDAs, then nobody should be asking you why not or convincing you it's OK. That's something that *you* have to feel comfortable with. Plenty of straight people aren't comfortable with them either. The trick is helping him understand that it isn't that you don't like him or don't want his attention, but that you aren't fully comfortable with public displays yet. I think if you do that, he should be ok with it. And the same with facebook. If you aren't comfortable having your relationship status be public to all your friends and family, that's a personal choice. Again, if you talk to him about it and make it clear it isn't because you don't like him, but just that you're still getting comfortable about being gay, he should respect that. As for his birthday, I concur with others that getting him a thoughtful gift -- something small is fine -- would be a good thing. It could be an inexpensive bracelet or ring if he wears things like that, along with a card that you've written a few sentences about what he means to you. To most people, that sort of thing means a lot.
yeah, i'm just stuck on what to get him at this point. i doubt i'll be able to put much though into it since i have until thursday. what's a reasonable amount to spend?
That's perfectly fine and you shouldn't feel bad at all for not being comfortable with that. As long as your issue is not wanting to broadcast that you're gay rather than not wanting to announce that you're with him I don't think there's anything to worry about. Hopefully over time you'll become more comfortable with the world knowing the real you, but that should be on your terms and isn't something you can be pressured into. Just make sure to keep the lines of communication open and everything should be fine.
I'd spend no more than about $20 (About 12 Pounds or 14.5 Euro). For a present, does he like a particular artist or music group or anything? You could buy him a CD and put some sort of a special note for him in the case or something. Just a suggestion.
Pfft what. Spend a fiver Winter. My favourite gift was when my girlfriend gave me a handmade birthday card. She drew a picture of a pint on some card, then cut it out and stuck it to a blank birthday card, then wrote me a letter on the inside. Another was when, for my 21st, my friends gave me a Woody from Toy Story toy. So the point is you don't have to spend a lot of money. Make him a card, write him a letter, or heck get him a little ornament or statue. A little gift that'll remind him of you is all you really need, something he could sit on a shelf.
